Corporate Lessons

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>>Corporate Lesson 1:
>>
>>A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
>>shower, when the doorbell rings.
>>
>>The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
>>
>>When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbour.
>>Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that
>>towel,”
>>
>>After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands
>>naked in front of Bob.
>>
>>After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves.
>>The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
>>
>>When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, “Who was that?”
>>
>>”It was Bob the next door neighbour,” she replies.
>>
>>”Great!” the husband says, “did he say anything about the $800 he owes
>>me?”
>>
>>Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to
>>credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a
>>position to prevent avoidable exposure.
>>
>>
>>Corporate Lesson 2:
>>
>>A priest offered a lift to a Nun.
>>
>>She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
>>
>>The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he
>>stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
>>
>>The nun said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?”
>>
>>The priest removed his hand.
>>But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
>>
>>The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?”
>>
>>The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.”
>>
>>Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way.
>>
>>On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
>>
>>It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”
>>
>>Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you
>>might miss a great opportunity.
>>
>>
>>Corporate Lesson 3:
>>
>>A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
>>lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
>>
>>They rub it and a Genie comes out.
>>
>>The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish.”
>>
>>”Me first! Me first!” says the admin. clerk.
>>
>>”I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in
>>the world.” Poof! She’s gone.
>>
>>”Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii,
>>relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of
>>Pina Coladas and the love of my life.” Poof! He’s gone.
>>
>>”OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager.
>>
>>The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”
>>
>>Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
>>
>>
>>Corporate Lesson 4:
>>
>>A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.
>>
>>A rabbit asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day
>>long?”
>>
>>The crow answered: “Sure, why not.”
>>
>>So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
>>
>>A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
>>
>>Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be
>>sitting very high up.
>>
>>
>>Corporate Lesson 5:
>>
>>A turkey was chatting with a bull.
>>
>>”I would love to be able to Get to the top of that tree,” sighed the
>>turkey, but I haven’t got the energy.”
>>
>>”Well, why don’t you nibble on my droppings?” replied the bull.
>>”They’re packed with nutrients.”
>>
>>The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough
>>strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
>>
>>The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
>>
>>Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top
>>of the tree.
>>
>>Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
>>
>>Moral of the story: Bullshìt might get you to the top, but it won’t
>>keep you there.
>>
[biggrin]

There are 3 types of people:1. People who make things happen.
2. People who watch what happens.
3. People who wondered what happened.