All Topics / Opinionated! / How do you handle criticism?

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  • Profile photo of shangrila00shangrila00
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    @shangrila00
    Join Date: 2009
    Post Count: 65

    Hi all,

    Whilst trying to accumulate a sizeable property portfolio, I'm sure at one time or another all property investors come up against people who seem to put them down and who seem to know more than those who are actually doing something to improve their financial situation.

    My question is how do you all deal with such people? Obviously, different people will have different approaches, but I'd be interested to find out what those approaches are.

    It's frustrating to be wanting to move forward, only to have know-it-alls "I've been in this game for 30+ years, so listen when I talk to you" type of people, talk to you about property investments. It's fine when criticism is constructive and useful, but not when it's said in such a way so as to make you feel as if everything you're doing is a mistake.

    Thanks!

    Profile photo of phill666phill666
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    @phill666
    Join Date: 2012
    Post Count: 10

    i think those people are the ones that probably are too stubourn to learn new tricks.. and given the markets constantly changing, its not always the way of the wise that sometimes catches the early worm so to speak.  Im 30 and have sustained 2 investment properties and I barely know the ropes yet. the people i listen to the most are my Dad and people such as yourself that are easy to talk to.. everyone else has to earn my respect and if  they talk to you like that then i suggest finding other people to talk to. 

    Dont hurry into anything, take your time, do your research and study the market or area your willing to buy.. that way you want have to listen to anyone esle but your mortgage broker :)

    Profile photo of ZanshibuiZanshibui
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    @zanshibui
    Join Date: 2012
    Post Count: 14

    A few thoughts come to mind:

    • It helps to be committed to what you are trying to achieve for yourself. If you're unsure then any resistence will easily unsettle, and you may even feel that you are now wrong.
    • Be open to learning. If you accept that they may not know how to express their feedback in a constructive way (by perhaps coming across as condescending, a know-it-all, demanding etc.) then instead of fighting what they're saying or trying to better them, simply ask why they think that way. You soon find out how they did their ass on a deal, or how some-one ripped them off, or how the market turned on them, or how they were structured incorrectly….this is GREAT INSIGHT for the things that you need to watch out for on your own quest!
    • Learn to be OK with being different and be a bit more compassionate to those who aren't OK with it. As a basic lesson in human behaviour, if you tell someone how you're going to be successful by being different to them how do you think they're going to respond? Usually by trying to defend their own way of thinking, which causes them to attack your different way of thinking. There is security for them if you are the same. So be OK with being different to them, show them a little compassion if they appear to be threatened and become a master of changing topics of conversation in a light-hearted way wink 

    Profile photo of CatalystCatalyst
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    @catalyst
    Join Date: 2008
    Post Count: 1,404

    There are MANY ways to make money in real estate. Some will be for you, some not. Unfortunately some people are narrow minded and think their way is the only way.

    Then there are the knockers who know NOTHING. Don't listen to them. They only want to drag you down. I've had work collegues say "Oh why are you buying now, NOONE is buying now etc. And -You've bought ANOTHER house???

    Listen to the people who have what you want. How did they get it? Go to meetups, network with like minded people. You may even make some great NEW friends interested in what you are trying to achieve. I know I've made some great friends through courses and casual meetups.

    You'll find as you get more into investing and your mindset changes,  your friend base may change. Unfortunately the relatives that knock you are a bit harder to get rid of. LOL

    Profile photo of xdrewxdrew
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    @xdrew
    Join Date: 2010
    Post Count: 479

    I'm always open to criticism.

    But depending on how relevant it is .. depends on how long and how much time i will spend on listening to it.

    You see .. sometimes .. people know something you dont. Most times .. they dont. But the little bits they may or may not add to the conversation .. may fill in bits i dont know.

    Take criticism as an assessment. And then validate that against what you know.

    I dont mind working with a wider knowledge base due to things i actually might have missed in my observations. But if its just negative and repetitive .. I will just ignore it.

    Validate your criticism with the idea that if its someone willing to explain and enhance your knowledge .. it may be valid. Dont even stick around with negs (negative people). They will drag you down .. lead you to question what you have achieved and put you in the wrong frame of mind for achieving success.

    Profile photo of shereebeckershereebecker
    Member
    @shereebecker
    Join Date: 2004
    Post Count: 31

    Sometimes simple is best, IGNORE IT! Remind yourself what your trying to achieve for yourself, family and clients, I also think about what things i dont want to regret not having tried and succeeded at when I'm 80 and do those things, not all money/property related of course. But i dont want to get to 80 and WISH i'd done this, or taken more risk on that like so many others do as they near retirement. You only get one go at life.

    Other thing, I only listen or take advice to people who are doing what I want to do or make more than me… because they have been there done that, nothing wrong with taking in information or criticism sometimes if its coming from a credible source. Otherwise apply your selective hearing. You can imagine how much negativity there is out there about my industry and what i do, you grow thick skin fast and just have to remind yourself of all the testimonials from people you've helped and remember all the good stuff. I print out the thankyous and stick them on the wall of my office. :)

    Cheers

    Sheree

    Profile photo of Nigel KibelNigel Kibel
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    @nigel-kibel
    Join Date: 2005
    Post Count: 1,425

    I used to get really frustrated especially with family, now I found the best solution is that I do not tell family what I do that way I do not have to let it bother me.

    Nigel Kibel | Property Know How
    http://propertyknowhow.com.au
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    We have just launched a new website join our membership today

    Profile photo of DerekDerek
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    @derek
    Join Date: 2004
    Post Count: 3,544

    Hi Shangrila,

    While some of their comments may frustrate you – don't totally ignore what some of them are saying. This is certainly the case if the person 'giving advice' has built a sizeable portfolio over a number of years. While their underlying strategy may differ from what you are doing by listening carefully you will still be able to glean some pearls of wisdom.

    I have also seen first hand example of groups of people being overly optimistic and making rash decisions and comments. Maybe you fall into this camp – I don't know, just asking the question.

    The challenge for you will be to distil what is reasonable caution and what is outright negativity. Remember also that some people simply cannot give messages of caution without sounding negative.

    If, on the other hand, they are not property investors then turn the listening switch off.

    Hope this helps.

    Profile photo of shangrila00shangrila00
    Member
    @shangrila00
    Join Date: 2009
    Post Count: 65

    Thanks for everyone's input! Plenty of food for thought here. I'm definitely looking at those who have acquired what I want, following their lead and paving my own humble way to what I want to achieve. I settled on an IP yesterday and looking forward to the future!

    It's hard to be positive around so-called investors, whose advice is to purchase the "more secure" option of shares (?!?!), negatively gear them, and wait for the magic fairy to do her thing. Oh, and apparently CF+ properties is not the strategy to wealth accumulation. Obviously those 30+ years of experience in real estate haven't amounted to much.

    Thanks again!

    Profile photo of mattstamattsta
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    @mattsta
    Join Date: 2011
    Post Count: 604

    I know several people who think that they know better just because they have been in the field for over 30-40 years. It is often not true. I know plenty young investors who are more knowledgeable than the ones who are older and have been in the real estate longer. When those type of people give me an advice trying to put me down, I listen to them and just continue doing what I think is right. Just do not let them to put you down and think that you are not smart or do not know what you are talking about. Just believe in yourself:-)

    Profile photo of DEVILZDEVILZ
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    @devilz
    Join Date: 2012
    Post Count: 33

    Hi,

    I think any criticism is good. Because it make you think and think hard ! You don't become complacent and through deep analysis you can figure out what is good or what is bad for you in given circumstances. Every situation is unique.

    I fully agree with Nigel Kibel that the FAMILY is the worst ! You always can ignore other people but you attached with family by emotions and it makes it harder to ignore them.

    If I listen to my mom and all her stories how I should live my life and spend my money ( always amuse me when other people with  zero experience tell others what to do)  I would not buy any house right now and probably live with parents now :(

    I think it is always a choice: to listen to someone and live your life how they want it or live your life how you want it ( making mistakes – but at least they are yours !)

    Profile photo of Richard TaylorRichard Taylor
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    @qlds007
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 12,024

    Thankfully my family all live in the UK so not problems there.

    My wife critises all the time but normally about all the jobs around the house she says i haven't yet got around to.

    Must admit no criticism aimed at the monthly amount i give her to spend on shoes etc. 

    When i arrived in Australia in 1993/94 i was constantly critised by locals as being a pomme although funny now with my portfolio the same sort of people who critises then are more than happy to come round and work for me now.

    Listen learn and then make up your decision making in conjunction with your team of professional advisers.

    Cheers

    Yours in Finance

    Richard Taylor | Mortgage Broker helping investors build their wealth thru property
    http://www.mortgagecapitalaustralia.com.au
    Email Me

    100% Investment Finance now available on selected properties. Email us for further information.

    Profile photo of JPS25JPS25
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    @jps25
    Join Date: 2010
    Post Count: 121

    Hi Richard

    Thanks for bringing this post up again

    I went to our solicitors with a contract in hubby's name for our 3rd IP (I have POA) and he was very critical of it

    I know it was an Nras one and he openly admits he knows nothing about Nras and just assumes its social housing which it isn't.

    We have found a decent one only 12km out of the city southside that we would buy even without Nras as it fits all criteria such as transport schools hospitals university all close by

    He did make me re-think the risks that he pointed out they all were really the same as with any investment property which is why you take out Landlord insurance. I then talked it over with the other half and he still wanted to go ahead with it all as do I

    Although our solicitor was very critical as to why we would want to do this, he was the same over our 2nd IP too and that has turned out well, it did make me go away and make sure this is what we want to do

    So really even though I may not have liked the criticism he made me re think what we were doing which is good to do even though we still don't agree with him

    As said above you have to listen and learn but go with your own gut feelings at the end

    We are still learning all the time with the help of everybody on here

    Profile photo of Richard TaylorRichard Taylor
    Participant
    @qlds007
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 12,024

    JPS always good to hear lawyers giving advice on property investment especially when most of them have no idea.

    Be like me giving tips on avoiding grey hair.

    With NRAS make sure the property valuation comes upto the purchase price and as long as your due your due diligence on the rest of the deal you wont go far wrong.

    Cheers

    Yours in Finance

    Richard Taylor | Mortgage Broker helping investors build their wealth thru property
    http://www.mortgagecapitalaustralia.com.au
    Email Me

    100% Investment Finance now available on selected properties. Email us for further information.

    Profile photo of Jacqui MiddletonJacqui Middleton
    Participant
    @jacm
    Join Date: 2009
    Post Count: 2,539

    I had an offer rejected on a property this week because the vendor's solicitor told them the property "was worth $8k more".  That's right, $8k.  He told them to get a certified valuation to prove it.  The agent was gobsmacked that the vendor thought this was a good idea.  A val on a piece of paper doesn't translate into a buyer prepared to pay what your little piece of paper says.  The agent cautioned them they'd lose their buyer in the process and that the next offer might well be lower.  But no, they're gonna get their piece of paper to prove that apparently I should offer more for their property.  As Richard says, good to hear lawyers dishing out advice on property investment that are not qualified to do so. 

    Jacqui Middleton | Middleton Buyers Advocates
    http://www.middletonbuyersadvocates.com.au
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    VIC Buyers' Agents for investors, home buyers & SMSFs.

    Profile photo of JPS25JPS25
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    @jps25
    Join Date: 2010
    Post Count: 121

    Hi Richard and JacM

    Seeing him again on Tuesday as I told him I wanted to put subject to valuation satisfactory to Paul in along with a building inspection one too. After Paul sent him an email and followed through with a call to him he is finally going to do it for me, I want to be covered in case it does fall short.

    Purchasing direct from the developer/consortium and I know from the paper work the agent only got 0.75% commission plus we got it down by $15K more if bought from marketers so hopefully all good.

    Hopefully this time instead of criticism he may actually take the time to advise on Body Corps which is the new bit to me

    As I said I didn't like what he said or should I say the way I felt treated, but it did make me stop and think before deciding to carry on with it so good and bad criticism does have its place I suppose. At the end of the day you have to decide to choose to listen and act or ignore it

    Profile photo of Jacqui MiddletonJacqui Middleton
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    @jacm
    Join Date: 2009
    Post Count: 2,539

    Be sure in your own mind that there are recent comparible sales at different addresses for around the same price.

    Good luck :)

    Jacqui Middleton | Middleton Buyers Advocates
    http://www.middletonbuyersadvocates.com.au
    Email Me | Phone Me

    VIC Buyers' Agents for investors, home buyers & SMSFs.

    Profile photo of PLCPLC
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    @plc
    Join Date: 2012
    Post Count: 400

    Wow, so the solicitor is a fortune teller as well, and knows what the valuation is going to come out at! How prophetic of him.

    As the old saying goes, a property is only worth what someone is willing to pay for it. This move on their part might lose them more than $8K.

    Cheers

    Tom

    PLC | Phoenix Loan Consulting
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    Melbourne based Mortgage Broker | Making Finance Simple

    Profile photo of JPS25JPS25
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    @jps25
    Join Date: 2010
    Post Count: 121

    Yes I have been checking the for sale, sold and for rent in the area for a while now and also the past rentals on another site.

    Its a nice quiet area or seems it as I have gone for a general walk around a few times. There is a mixture of old and new about but yes happy with the area from what I have seen on foot and from driving around when Paul was home.

    Will let you know how it all goes

    Thanks

    Profile photo of JpcashflowJpcashflow
    Participant
    @jpcashflow
    Join Date: 2007
    Post Count: 575

    This is a very interesting topic 

    Like anything in life there are people who are negative and  positive, When someone is trying to give me advice either bad or good, I still listen and for one reason.

    Use their experiences to benefit you:

    People use one or two bad experiences and an excuse not to try and its easier for them to blame the whole world but not themselves.

    Growing up me and my cousin (don’t talk any more) used to lock in horns over views in life, He came from a very wealthy family and I came from the opposite.

    He went to a private school to become a lawyer and I went to a public school to play soccer, Where both 28 and this is where we both stand now:

    HIM: the world is a hard place, The economy is making it hard to get a job as a lawyer (has not even typed a resume yet), You can’t be successful because there is too much competition “etc”

    ME:  Totally the opposite, achieved allot and have done quite well out of investing (done a couple of mistakes but lesson learnt)

    If you ever need inspiration I recommend you look and network with people who are successful, There are plenty of people who are very successful on this site

    Just to point out something really interesting, My uncle is 62 hates the world, Its to hard for him to do anything, all this negative stuff, Then I look at a soccer manager called SIR ALEX FERGUSON, 71 years old and is the manager of one of the most biggest soccer clubs in the world, travels allot, puts allot of time into the game and so on and so on

    Jpcashflow | JP Financial Group
    http://www.jpfinancialgroup.com.au
    Email Me | Phone Me

    Your first port of call in finance :)

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