Istvan051Member@istvan051Join Date: 2005Post Count: 221
I am wondering if anyone can tell what they know it means to be in an "Interdependant relationship"?
Many definitions exist online but none seem to be really consistant and tend to vary.
My beleif is that in an interdependant relationship, all cooking cleaning, washing, gardening and anything
associated with your own block and house is your own personal entity and business, separate from your
partner. For example if I am to form an interdepedant relationship with my mother or father than I am
able to manage all these things independantly of this person so I become interdependant. Also If i am to
form a interdependant relaitonship with my wife then I am also bound by the same set of rules. People living in interdependant relationships manage everything associated with a normal house separetly from one another and actually
live under separate roofs. They may still see each other everyday for several hours and not know were each other live.
It means none of the usual domestic chours are a reference point over other members of a relationship and dont exist.
Also, if I am to take it one step further in an interdepdant marraige nether partner knows were the other person
lives but they see each other everyday and perhaps share the care of children at a third entity centrally located
between the accomodation of husband and wife. (Known as the public sector). This concept is the basis
for a book I am writing called True Family Structure and involves an entire new order and set of rules which help us
maintain our privacy from others.
In this, the only person who knows were each person lives is the primary relationship of every person which
is usually one of your parents and is also the one and only person you have no secrets from. This person is your landlord, parent and work manager all as a single entity and is also the appointer of each familes trust.bjsaustParticipant@bjsaustJoin Date: 2009Post Count: 141
You seem to be confusing independent with interdependent. Interdependent would imply the partners depend upon each other.Scott No MatesParticipant@scott-no-matesJoin Date: 2005Post Count: 3,850
That’s what I thought too. Independent vs interdependence.
Self-reliant vs relying on others.TerrywParticipant@terrywJoin Date: 2001Post Count: 16,190beedieParticipant@beedieJoin Date: 2007Post Count: 158
"Land Rights for Gay Whales"Istvan051Member@istvan051Join Date: 2005Post Count: 221bjsaust wrote:You seem to be confusing independent with interdependent. Interdependent would imply the partners depend upon each other.
In depends on which partners you are refering to. In true family structure (TFS, a book im writing) the objective is to reach a point were you only have interdependant relationships. Every person starts life as a co-dependant to their parents and as the primary relationship is formed (usually one of your parents) the objective of this person is to take you from co-dependence to independence and finally interdependance (Adulthood). In TFS the spouse of the primary relationship should ideally be the only person who depends on any person for support inside the family structure. This means that once the spouse becomes an adult the primary relationship should become the landlord, work manager and relative to this person. In turn the role of spouse involves maintaining the respect of the primary in order to maintain its position in the world. Next comes the interdependant marriage which actually involves husband and wife having separate financhial affairs and no dependancies actually occur either way. In the interdependant marriage the relationship actually exists at a third entity called the public sector. So in summary in interdependancy the only relationship in which there is a "dependancy" is that between spouse and primary relationship. Interdependancy does not strictly imply a "dependancy" senario but rather simply that the relationship is "mutually dependant". In interdependancy I actually depend on you and you depend on me for emochional support. Every other aspect of the relationship as you would expect in nomal cenarios is non-existant. Sharing accomodation leads to co-dependant relations which usually become disfunctional over a period of time. This is why in order to create and maintain interdependancy we actually need to build a public sector in order to house our children in which is also the third entity that husband and wife share the care of their children inside.
Next comes the ability to integrate business and family into a single entity. Every person actually works under the direction of their primary relationship. The primary relationship is under a binding aggrement by the government not to release certain information about your life such as your full name and address and is the only person who actually knows exactly were you are accomodated or by the old fashion terms "live". In TFS people actually live inside the public sector in order to maintain privacy.THREE STYLES OF RELATIONSHIPS
People generally tend to relate to each other in one of three ways:
Dependently, Independently, or Interdependently.
People in dependent relationships spend much of their time
fighting about who has to take care of whom.
People in independent relationships are often lonely.
They spend much of their time out of each other's sight.
People in interdependent relationships do whatever is best for both partners.
They make sincere, reliable agreements with each other,
based on their separate wants and needs,
and they stick to them.
We can be happy – at least for a while – in all three relationships.
But we can only feel genuinely secure when we become interdependent.
The following is my thoughts
Dependancy is very simular to co-dependancy. Independancy is like living separate lives in the same territory. Interdependancy is like living lives together in separate territories- i.e. we actually live in a third entity called the public sector. Interdependancy actually brings our lives back together after we have become independant and perhaps a little lonley.
Interdependancy is a lot healthier over the long term and people in these types of relationships tend to have a lot less problems as they find a much lesser need to compromise.
They live in separate territories with their own rules and priorities as to how resources should be allocated.
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