All Topics / General Property / My son doesn’t want to take responsibility, I failed to………..Help please

Viewing 13 posts - 1 through 13 (of 13 total)
  • Profile photo of IPInvestorIPInvestor
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    @ipinvestor
    Join Date: 2009
    Post Count: 19

    Hi All,
    I am a new immigrant, in Australia for 2 years. I have 2 sons, Elder son is working fulltime with income of $40K. He married overseas girl so his wife is not PR yet. She has got casual part time work. He can not even claim FHOG (joint application)
    Me and my wife work fulltime and we have PPOR plus 3 IPs. We bought all three IPs this year and we do not have any equity left to borrow. We are trying encourage our elder son to invest in property but unfortunately he can not get loan as he earns $40K and wife works part time/casual. So we ask him to manage one of the properties and pay interest+expenses ($185 per week). We agreed to sign a contract, as he said he can not trust us. We signed a detailed contract. We agreed in contract that when ever he wants to sale, we sale for him and give all the profit (after CGT) to him. He was happy but yesterday he said he doesn't want to do it. The reason- He can not claim tax. He asked us to give tax back at the end of year. We get tax benefit because we have got 3 IPs and we earn above $180K, If we have no work, how can we get tax back? I explained him that the rent will go up and in 5-6 years he will not have to add any money to keep the property, it will be +ve geared. I projected a scenario for 10 years. He would be investing only $34500 and can get a profit of $300k if he keeps for 10 or so years.
    We do not have cash to help him to buy property, We do not have extra equity, only we have these properties and he is worried anout claiming tax money from me. (He is on 15% tax slab, if it was his property, he can claim $185X52=9620X15%=$1443.
    Do I have any other option? How can we make him understand that we are taking risk and he will rip the benefits. Many Thanks.

    Profile photo of LockymacLockymac
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    @lockymac
    Join Date: 2009
    Post Count: 78

    Your being to nice to the boy i reckon. I would have begged my parents for this oppurtunity, maybe he is just not ready for it yet

    Profile photo of maree_bradrossmaree_bradross
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    @maree_bradross
    Join Date: 2007
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    wow – wish you were my parents :) don't forgot about depreciation that is claimable as well

    Profile photo of IPInvestorIPInvestor
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    @ipinvestor
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    So, I made him upset because I said him, Tax deduction is based on my earning, If I stop working, there won't be tax refund. Did I do wrong? My wife is also upset and saying, it is my fault. I push our son away from us but she does not understand that SON does not want to take responsibility. I think TAX is only an excuse. If we give away TAX refund, He will ask something else.
    Guys………..What would you do? If (1) You were a father (2) You were a son in this scenario.
    Thanks

    Profile photo of xyaxya
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    @xya
    Join Date: 2008
    Post Count: 62

    I agree, I think your son is just not ready… no point forcing him. Also, why can't he apply for the loan under his name only to qualify for the FHOG?

    Profile photo of sonyasalsonyasal
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    @sonyasal
    Join Date: 2008
    Post Count: 421

    I think that you are giving your son too much. i don't know your culture and whether this type of support is the norm, however, as previous posts have said, perhaps he is not ready to see the opportunity that you are providing. Perhaps if he is actually interested you could suggest that he look at this and other investment websites that don't cost any money but provide a lot of support and information for people who do want to get ahead via property investing.  has he thought about or looked into buying a cashflow positive property in a regional area that will provide more income.  Good luck, i am sure if he is reasonable that you will enjoy a close family soon  cheers

    sonya

    Profile photo of DWolfeDWolfe
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    @dwolfe
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    Hi,

    I don't think anyone really respects something unless they have earned it, houses or money etc. Also your son may feel like he is taking from you. I would never want to take money or houses or anything off my parents, I would see it as my duty to support them! Maybe he has no other way to tell you he doesn't want to take from you apart from using excuses like the tax thing. He may also want to earn his own way and feel that if he takes from you he hasn't set up his own money for his own family. Also he and his wife may just have other plans that don't really involve property investing.

    I wouldn't push even if it is the best thing. Maybe offer to write them into your will, or offer that in 10 years you can both sit down and discuss it again (maybe he will think differently when he has children to support etc.) But at this point if it really is pushing him away I would just let it go and take some of the pressure off.

    D

    DWolfe | www.homestagers.com.au
    http://www.homestagers.com.au
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    Profile photo of IPInvestorIPInvestor
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    @ipinvestor
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    Hi,
    Thanks for supprot, I really needed it. Pressure from both ends. Wife wants me to do whatever SON wants and Son doesn't want to do.
     XYA- My son can not buy his own and apply for FHOG because his income is $40 K and bank won't consider for $350K loan, We do not have equity left.
    Sonyasal: About our culture, My father has 4 sons, he built 4 houses for us and whatever agriculture land he had, he divided among us. We all 4 brothers work and we support our parents. They receieve pension and it is more than enough so father help my younger brother as he has only one income. But now we are here and I am 48 and have strong feeling for family, our culture but young husband-wife (son and daughter in law) have lost these values (I think). But 
    DWolfe is correct (I think). The way of life is different and we have no choice but accept it.
    Many thanks for your support guys, It is not only investment forum but it's great extended family where forum(ers) help each other.

    Profile photo of susannemooresusannemoore
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    @susannemoore
    Join Date: 2009
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    My goodness!  I don't think that you are doing him any favours by giving things to him when he clearly doesn't understand what he is receiving.  What worries me about your question is that you say you had to sign a contract because he doesn't trust YOU!!!  I think you need to look at how you have parented this person in the first place before you start doing deals with him!  No one values what they don't earn themselves and he clearly doesn't value his parents. 

    Profile photo of businessglobalbusinessglobal
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    @businessglobal
    Join Date: 2005
    Post Count: 118

    I am from a strong Irish background and my family came to Australia with nothing,my partners family also came to Australia from Greece and Lebanon with nothing and did not even speak english. You are a good father and trying to help your children, but sometimes kids do not wish to follow the same path as the parents or the culture and you have done your best with your offer and trying to help. Possibly they are not ready to commit to a loan or any responsibility or do not follow the same dreams or visions of security, financial responsibilities etc. Everyone is different and has their own way to pave. I would not think that the tax thing would be the primary issue, there must be something going on behind the scenes or possibly they do not really want to do it and trying to find an excuse. Also my concern is that they do not trust you? Possibly juts relax, look after yourself, your health, and just be a dad, and be involved in their life, do fun things together and maybe offer them an opportunity down the track when they are older or able to appreciate your help.

    My family gave me an education, told me do whatever makes you happy, travel the world, dont get too money/ business focussed, and also gave me $10,000 to start my business. From this I have worked very hard, learnt a lot along the way and have built up a bit of an empire, but you cant drag a dead horse, or take the horse to water and force it to drink.

    Do not be too hard on yourself and do not spoil your children, make them work, learn and face up to responsibilities in life also financially, I have never seen any of the spoilt kids I went to school with that were given anything amount to much as humans or in the business world- they are lazy, rude, arrogant, drink alot, take some sorts of drugs, do not support charities, would walk over a person dying, but the ones that were given a little bit only, made to work, set goals, went through ups and downs, and were motivated/ ambitious and greatful have built huge business empires in Australia. Just give your son and his wife time to enjoy life, save, work out themselves and their future and enjoy some time together without huge responsibilities, and family pressures, we have the rest of our lives for bank loans, taxes, commitments etc- just tell them you  have decided to just do your own thing and one day when they save more money, get stable employments/ business, and have enjoyed their early relationship a bit more you will have a discussion with them. Bye hope this helps Kylie

    Profile photo of IPInvestorIPInvestor
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    @ipinvestor
    Join Date: 2009
    Post Count: 19

    You are 100% right businessglobal. We can not drag a dead horse, or take the horse to water and force it to drink. I stopped thinking about it.
    When he declined to take over the property, we (me & wife) showed him some investors examples and Jan Somers quotes the avarege porperty price double in 7-8 years. I did some claculation and showed him that how property price will go up, rent will go up and bank instalment will go down. He did not understand. He said me "Pease don't offer me this type of dodgy deals". Are hundreds of investors wrong and stupid, they investing in properties?
    I gave UP.
    Thanks for supprot.

    Profile photo of Renoah04Renoah04
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    @renoah04
    Join Date: 2009
    Post Count: 15

    I am a young investor myself (only 27) and the way I have got to the point I am at now (about to purchase 3rd property) is by gathering as much knowledge as I can about real estate in general, property investing, finance and everything else related, it is only from learning about all aspects to do with property that I have truly learned to appreciate it, and it is now my main passion.
    This may not be the case for your son, but I do think that there is a lot to gain, from going through the cycle of property, eg. renting for a while (realizing you are paying someone else’s mortgage), saving for a deposit, dealing with banks etc. and then finally getting your first home.
    It may be unfortunate that your son is not in a position to borrow moeny to buy his own place, but it may also be important for him to go through this stage to actually appreciate it when he finally gets to that point.
    You sound like a very loving dad, I think it’s a shame your son is not grateful for you! I hope it all works out :)

    Profile photo of IPInvestorIPInvestor
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    @ipinvestor
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    Post Count: 19

    Thank you very much for your support, advice and inputs.

Viewing 13 posts - 1 through 13 (of 13 total)

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