All Topics / Forum Frolic / Euro English

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  • Profile photo of CeliviaCelivia
    Participant
    @celivia
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 886

    [biggrin]Euro English[biggrin]
    Please read slowly and carefully, preferably aloud.

    The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as “Euro-English”.

    In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

    The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of “k”. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f”. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

    In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

    Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

    Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent “e” in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.

    During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

    Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

    Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

    Celivia

    Profile photo of MillyMilly
    Member
    @milly
    Join Date: 2004
    Post Count: 288
    Profile photo of AEFAEF
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    @aef
    Join Date: 2005
    Post Count: 3

    Not German, but funny nonetheless……..

    This was originally shown on BBC TV, back in the seventies.

    Ronnie Barker could say all this without a snigger (though god knows how many takes) The irony is that the BBC received not one complaint. Must have been the speed of delivery was too much for the whining herds. Try getting through it without converting the spoonerisms as you read;

    AEF…I saw this two weeks ago and decided not to post it ‘cos, despite it being hilarious, wasn’t really suitable for this site.

    Having now seen it posted, it definitely isn’t consistent with the general ethos of the site.

    Profile photo of Don NicolussiDon Nicolussi
    Participant
    @don
    Join Date: 2005
    Post Count: 1,086

    lmoa

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