Onya Simon! Exactly Rob. Don’t get married if all you believe it is is a piece of paper. To me, I believe it is something much much more deeper than that.
It is a solemn commitment to someone that you will give your heart and soul to make that person happy so that you will be in turn happy too. We have had the situation we haven’t been happy and we’ve had to assess whether it is the circumstances we’re in, or whether it was something one of us were doing to annoy the other. Most often enough it is both, but that’s when we make a plan to how we can change it.
Like everything, time is the critical factor. If you can’t find time for the person you love, forget property investing. It is pointless if you’ve lost the person you love.
It’s all balance.
Steph.calvin_thirty4Participant@calvin_thirty4Join Date: 2004Post Count: 556
I love my wife!
The best man explained the three rings of Marriage as follows:
- First, there is the Engagement Ring;
- then comes the Wedding Ring; and
- last, but not least, comes the Suffer-Ring!
No wonder he is still single, but it was funny none-the-less.
Rob, if Governments had a sure-fire way of taxing methane, your would have to license your farts!
Just one of those things, I guess.
I just want you to know that I wouldn’t be single for quitts!
CheersRobbie BMember@robbie-bJoin Date: 2004Post Count: 2,493
Simon, do you have to tell all my secrets?
Scremin, I don’t thing marriage is just a bit of paper. I am just questioning why a bit of paper is needed to get married.
I can not make myself any clearer than this.
The forumite formally known as Big Rob
I s’pose it is just one of those law things. You don’t have the paper, you can’t change your name.
3 years later and I have found a super fund from when I was in retail many years ago and it’s in my maiden name!! So, now I have to go and change it from Versace to Cremin all over again…. I have to fax that silly bit of paper again… Sigh…
For hubby and I marriage is about the promise that we made before God and to each other.
The feeling of belonging in a lifelong partnership is bliss. That comes with knowing my husband is as committed to our relationship as I am. That’s not to say that marriage is always bliss but each of us knows that the other is in it for the long haul. I’m not just talking about staying together for the sake of it but working to help our marriage grow. Our individual futures and the future of our relationship are so much better off thanks to those vows!
SonjaRobbie BMember@robbie-bJoin Date: 2004Post Count: 2,493
That is what I am talking about Sonja!!!
The forumite formally known as Big Rob
You have written exactly what I have been trying to say but couldn’t find the words…
Steph.calvin_thirty4Participant@calvin_thirty4Join Date: 2004Post Count: 556Michael WhyteMember@michael-whyteJoin Date: 2004Post Count: 269
Rob and others,
I think Sonja hit it on the head, I was reading Rob’s posts back and forth and was about to post something similar.
Basically, my wife and I lived together in a defacto relationship for 10 years, yes 10 YEARS! before getting married. One day I just felt that I wanted to openly and publicly declare to the world that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this woman. I could have done that without getting married, but I wanted the public declaration so that I could give something of myself to my wife.
We got married by a celebrant at Mona Vale beach surrounded by friends and family, and I can honestly say it is the best thing I ever did. Living together was great, but since we’ve got married we’ve grown so much more in love with each other. I had no idea I had so much more to grow together, the vows broke through a whole new level of commitment.
Michael.gatsbyMember@gatsbyJoin Date: 2003Post Count: 708
What do you mean as long as it doesn’t frighten the horses? Don’t you mean cruelty to animals?
For the ladies,
Does anyone else want to be Calvin’s sister in Parkeville?
I understand what you mean (re: the piece of paper, etc). I guess it’s an understanding we have that no 2 grown adult homosexual men will ever understand! Hang on,.. that didn’t come out quite right!
Gatsby!AceyduceyParticipant@aceyduceyJoin Date: 2003Post Count: 651
Did you all know that when you get married the woman gets a free name change but the man does not.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
– Jan L.A. van de SnepscheutShellbyMember@shellbyJoin Date: 2005Post Count: 37
Hi there all,
my husband and I had our 16th wedding anniversary last November. Marriage is a great thing and yes hard work, and worth the piece of paper it’s printed on. Why do you need a piece of paper to say you’re married? Why not, I say. If that’s what it takes to show the world you’re in love and want to be married, then just do it!
Very new at this, by the way, and you all make interesting reading.
Here’s cheers to marriage and the paper!!
Shellby.blondie_becParticipant@blondie_becJoin Date: 2004Post Count: 91
Hi all again,
I have to say that IMHO I think it is the hullabaloo made about the ceremony and reception that ruins the experience of getting married for some if not most couples. I think it possiby distracts from what getting married is all about, yeah its fun to have a big party and get all dressed up but the rest of your life may not be a big party if you rush into the wrong decision.[blink]
Like I said in an earlier post I have only just got engaged recently(like just over a week!) and there are already conflicting ideas and opinions from other members of the family about how WE should express our love and devotion to each other AND the wedding is not til Nov ‘2006’!
We only want a small intimate wedding and looks like the whole wedding party including guests will come to 22 people! Yet everyone wants us to spend a fortune so they can all gawk at me lookin like a big white mashmallow and him in his bag of fruit saying all gooey stuff to each other. Now this annoys me because if it was up to us we would elope and have an intimate commitment to each other after all it has nothing to do with anyone else and consider it to be a very personal thing, which it should be.[love]
Well that’s just my opinion, I think some people need to take a step back for a minute or two sometimes and forget the spectacle of the wedding and think about what life is going to be like after… is this the person you are willing to give your everything to in order to grow and enjoy your lives together through thick or thin, and when it gets tough will you make it?[saywhat]
I know we will in my heart and wish you all the best with your life partners and trust you will all live happily ever after…..for some fairy tales do come true, I know I found my prince charming![inlove]
That’s just my opinion anyway…[blush2]
-Blondie[cowboy]ShellbyMember@shellbyJoin Date: 2005Post Count: 37
if you don’t want the big wedding then it shouldn’t matter what other people think, it is your day after all. Also I don’t think it’s so much people wanting to gawk at you, as much as just wanting to celebrate and enjoy your special day with you! It is a big step in your life and I guess those who have shared your life with you so far, just want to share this with you too.
Good luck and congrats,
Shellbyblondie_becParticipant@blondie_becJoin Date: 2004Post Count: 91
Don’t worry my fiance and I are going to have the wedding our way because it is our day and very special for us…. as it is supposed to be.
I am just disappointed [realsad] that the people that are supposed to be the ones that are happy for us and encouraging are being negative because the day is not going to go how THEY wanted/expected it.
That’s what I mean by people can get too involved with the spectacle of a wedding rather than the meaning behind it. [love]
Thanks for all your well wishes,
-Blondie[cowboy]Ambo72_2Participant@ambo72_2Join Date: 2004Post Count: 102
I’m getting married in March, and trust me the arguments and disagreements about the wedding with each other and family are all part of it. I reckon if you can get through the organisation of a wedding then you can get through anything.
We have been lucky with our families only offering advice when we asked for it. But I think most parents just want the day to be really special for you but lose sight of the fact that it’s what you want that counts.
As for a small wedding….well. We originally wanted only 40 people, but most venues in Brisbane want a minimum of 70 (at $95 bucks a head!!). Anyway we negotiated 56 people which isn’t to bad and it’s all looking good.
Hope it all turns out well.
IanRavtownMember@ravtownJoin Date: 2004Post Count: 48
I’m sitting here smiling for you all. Never mind the marriage bit. You’ve found love and you know it. That’s the biggie!!!
Tell me about the fights!!!
We were married in November ’99 and I’m only just starting to resolve the resentment that I’ve been sitting on. I had a year of sheer hell leading up to the wedding. My in-laws reminded us on a regular basis that it was their wedding as much as ours and that they should have at least an equal say on everything from the number of guests to who was and wasn’t invited to the reception venue to the seating arrangements to the photographer to the bridesmaids dresses (their daughters didn’t want to waste too much money on a dress they’d never wear again) and on and on and on it went.
I did not have the opportunity to get excited or enjoy a single aspect of planning the wedding. On the day I was so traumitised by the many dramas we had suffered that I just couldn’t wait to get the whole thing over with.
As I said I’m just starting to let go of the resentment I have held over the whole event. This is because I am aware that marriage is really about the lifetime you get to share with eachother – not that day of dressing up and socialising.
Mind you I would have liked to enjoy the excitement of planning the “special day” and the experience of being a bride for that single day. But, in the scheme of things, the “happy ever after” is far more important.
sounds like a similar story to mine!! Maybe not to the same extent but close!
Blondie, you and your fiance are the ones who will ultimately remember you wedding the most. As for everyone else, screw them!! My hubby and I only wanted a small wedding and we had it all worked out when we were on holiday in South Africa.
When we got home, well, did it al change. We explained that we only wanted 30 people (That’s immediate family and very best friends only) and that we wanted it this way, then my parents said no they want ot invite this person and that person and they will pay, then his parents chimed in that my parents were invinting more people than them and tehre was no way they were going to pay for their guests… Ithink you get the picture. Well anyway, the guest list suddenly made a dsh to the 100 mark.
Paul and I were getting very upset that it wasn’t what we wanted, the caterers were being bastards and we just wanted it all to be over. So we cancelled it.
We took off for a weekend down to Margaret River (Wine region in WA), checked out some places to stay and reception joint, and within one day we had organised our whole wedding!
Because we left Perth (any place in perth, as soon as you said wedding, the price tripled. We got two quotes. One for a party, then a wedding), they seemed to value more what we wanted and we felt, becuase people would have to make an effort to get down there, there wouldn’t be so much drama.
So we eneded up with 41 people, a perfect recption place that charged reasonable amounts of money ($50 a head and it was 5 star service!) and a gorgeous back drop.
My mother-in-law still holds a bit of hurt and lots of arguments happened before the wedding, but I tell you what, we had one hell of a day coz people still talk about it 3 years later…
We didn’t listen to anything from either of our paents and just went ahead and booked what we wanted. We had decided to pay so any money they gave us was extra. In total, I think it cost us around the $7000 mark. That’s pretty good really. The wedding went for 12 hours too!!
ANyway, stay true to what you and your fiance want and don’t let others perception of your day get in the way. Learn to nod your head then do what you want anyway!!
Goood luck and keep us up to date!
Success is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.