i hate to say this but your boss sounds like a psychopath.
b4 all of you think thats too harsh – there has been many articles recently especially in the Financial review, talking about psychopaths in the work place. and the scary thing is most of them become bosses. the reason being they are driven to succeed more than the rest of us. from your descripion gatsby she has all the traits. paranoid, aggressive, charming, controlling, manipulative etc etc.
so if the best thing you can get out of it that this ‘situation’ is not your fault then all the the best to ya!. i hope she gets the sack though…
cheers
Hi Gatsby…. I’ve just been reading what you’ve posted and really feel for you. That’s just appalling what that bag is doing! I think I’m the same kind of person as you though.. that I don’t speak up and tell people to ‘sod off’ when they really deserve it… for fear of others joining in to gang up on me! I take it all on board and end up leaving jobs because I can’t speak up for myself. It takes little steps, but they will think twice if you bite back. She’s knows that she can dump what ever she likes on you and push you around and you won’t do anything. People like that just love the little power thrill.. and if you look closely, you’ll find that she doesn’t do that with people that are aggressive themselves. She’s too scared to! what a cow! But that gives her absolutely no reason to do what she’s doing… take her down Gatsby! fight fight fight! hehehe
On the dictaphone bit… I once upon a time had a person giving me a gobful on a regular basis, and decided further with it. I was advised to record all our conversations with any recording device (and this was by the police). I also questioned this about the other person not knowing, but they advised that you can record ANY conversation AS LONG as YOU are one of the main parties talking. You are not allowed to tape others without their knowledge.. but you can certainly record any ‘conversation’ that you are part of.
perhaps you could look further into that? wink wink[wink]
Tam
Hi Gatsby,
As a HR professional I am always in amazement that people still choose to go around treating others in any way they see fit – which in your case is appallingly!
I am in Qld so am unaware of the Vic intricacies of the law but in the Sunshine state not only is your boss liable for work place bullying but your employer is very liable for failing to act and provide a safe and healthy workplace environment!! A big charge and one which if leaked to the media can create more grief than they ever wished for.
In my humble opinion, taping the conversation is one of the better ideas suggested, and you don’t need to tell her – sheing she is possibly likely to really ‘lose it’.
I have included a link from the Qld gov web site on this type of thing with links to gov’t bodies who can provide advice. I am sure that there are similar agencies in VIC. Good luck and don’t loose site of the end goal, the end will justify the means.
http://www.opsme.qld.gov.au/ethics/whistleblowing.htm
[juggle]
Kind regards,
Gary
Mashari Pty Ltd
‘Anything is possible’Yes I can see what you have gone thro. I have had the same problems starting Jan 2001 with questioning my interigity at all times and pushed into a corner by both my two ACTING suprior officers. Accusations made of my lack of work detail when you are instructed by the CEO to take time off due to excessive hours. A redundancy given without any paper work and asked to think about it at 4.29pm Fri afternoon when you complete the week at 4.30pm Friday. Redeployed the following Tueday at 2 grades lower and $6000 less a year. Given the same duties or had been told some duties are removed and every day you argue that those items are not on my list of duties as of the redeployment. To go thro a number of discipline meetings, and only know they are such when a report comes back from HR headed with Discipline Meeting. A final written warning and when I refused to accept I asked for the first and second warning, none of which exist. Had a performance review by the new Director for the previous 12 months when he had been in the chair 1 week. A poor performance review and no increase in salary even when I had shown I was doing the duties of prior to redundancy. Assaulted at work, lodge a grevience complaint and was investigated by the Local Government Association and I was given the warning . The HR officer was the one who assaulted me and also threatened to knock the block of another staff member at the same time. The report finished up hidden under the carpet. Appointment of another staff member to an advertised position: the one I held prior to redundancy: Management found my application 2 weeks after the other employee’s appointment. Asked if I would withdraw, which I did with a verbal undertaking of having a salary increase. Withdrew and the Director renegged on the arrangements. Had 1 month off on work related stress. Back for 8 weeks and the same health problem. Went off again and lodged a Workers Comp case. Went thro the hoops, drs, pychs assessment, vocational Psychologist the lot. Eventually returned and found I had to catch up with 4 months work left for me.
The Insurance Company rejected the claim as all the problems stemmed from and since redeployment.
Next move—age 61 what chances of a job if I leave. I can either put with the rubbish or try and get a copy of the Psych report with concern to my health and join the John Howard Fishing team. The union not much help. This type of bullying is only too COMMON due to the lack of people skills of Management and the aged employees.
Yes you have my sympathy
Keep recording and Karma will prevailgood onya robert – sounds like a mightmare. good to see at the end of it you remain strong and philisophical.
best of luck for the future..
Dear Timtam, Mashari, Robertmoore, et al,
Many thanks for your replies and my empathy goes out to all you have endured. Mashari thanks for the link and I will check it out when my feet touch the ground. I will also pm back earlier posts who offered support too. I’m most grateful. I’ve just come back from a free counselling service that the Dept provides. At the moment I’m concerned about a couple of IP’s I own. My boss is not one to back down if challenged by any aggressor. It only reinforces in her paradigm of thinking ‘all the more’ that she is right. I don’t know if I need to put my 2 properties in some form of a trust as she will take this matter into her own hands. As I’ve already stated she is paranoid about anything and everything and everytime I have tried to talk about her aggressiveness she just builds up and tells me maybe I need a new job. She has no insight. I’ve phoned Slater and Gordon and will ring them back in the morning (they are our Union’s Lawyers). I’ll also try and seek a property/accountant more specialised with this dilemna. The hardest thing as those who have shared your experiences is that you have so much running around, covering your bases, etc at a time when you are psychologically most vulnerable. It’s now at a waiting game stage as although she is still off until the 17th of this month, I think she will be back in Melbourne in a day or two and she will definetly drop into the house where I’ll have to confront her. I’m trying to burn off the anticapatory anxiety at the gym to relive the stress which has helped. I’m not at all trying to sound racist and I apologize if anyone is offended but she is Italian and very dramatic/loud and extremely thick with her family. As I’ve stated she has a key to the house and s/o room so my sleep is pretty poor at work and yes, as mentioned earlier by Robertmoore, I have a tonne of all her work to try and concentrate (which she has dumped for me) while trying to perform my duties. I haven’t told other staff because they will eventually be bullied by her when she discovers she is banned from the work site. Anyway again, many thanks and I will pm and post back as things evolve. The frustrating thing is I don’t want to leave this job as I enjoy it and the pay is good to service loan repayments/loan applications, etc.
Anyway it’s back to work.
Kindest regards,
Gatsby.
(don’t worry I am resolved to see this thing through to the end as quickly as possible. I just want my normal life back asap!)Hey Gat,
Want me to come down and take care of the situation. I can bring those concrete boots with me!!!
When I grow up, I want to be a storm trooper!
Hey gatsby,
I forgot to mention I’m glaswiegan and know some guys who could help!!!! Forget the Italian Mafia get the Scottish Mafia.
Landt.Death by bagpipe!!! That should be cool to watch!
What do they do Landt, play loudly???
When I grow up, I want to be a storm trooper!
Gatsby
I wouldn’t be too worried about putting properties into a trust at this stage. It would cost too much, and anyway, what are you worried about? Her damanging them? Maybe you could look at taking out a restraining order down the track. If she has keys to your house, then you probably should change the locks right away.
Hope it all goes well.
Terryw
Discover Home Loans
Mortgage Broker
North Sydney
Click below to email meTerryw | Structuring Lawyers Pty Ltd / Loan Structuring Pty Ltd
http://www.Structuring.com.au
Email MeLawyer, Mortgage Broker and Tax Advisor (Sydney based but advising Aust wide) http://www.Structuring.com.au
Forget the union. Commence an action for harrassment in the work place. Send the documents to her bosses. At least the problems will cease immediately and management will be quick to agree to what you want otherwise they will have to pay. They can’t sack you as then they will be open to unfair dismissal issues. You do not have to go through with the action as you can withdraw prior to attending court dates when things are sorted out.
_____________________________________________
The poster formally known as The Mortgage Adviser
When I grow up, I want to be a Storm Trooper!
Go to your GP and get on a course of Testosterone replacement therapy or get your boyfriend to give her a “talking” too.
Thanks SuperTed but I’m not gay. Using testosterone patches/replacement therapy, etc would only have the opposite effect (whatever it is your assuming) as this would only reduce the amount of testerone (freebound) in my system. I’ve seen my GP and and I’m on workcover until our meeting which will hopefully be this Friday. The meeting will be only a walk in the park as I will just stick to my guns. It’s all the shit afterwards that matters but I do feel strong in my convictions as I’d rather live on my feet (even though I have wooden legs SuperTed) than die on my knees. landt64’s advise is actually quite true. Although do feel emotionally strong enough to shake off the aftermath. If not I can always get another job. The amount of people who tell me/phone me at the moment, telling me it’s a good thing what you’re doing (but don’t involve us) has been incredible (in terms of their support). I don’t blame them for not coming forward because that is ‘exactly how workplace bullying operates!’ Keep people in a constant state of threat (‘you’ll lose your job’ mentality) and people will do just about anything. Anyway the sooner the meeting the better because I know that it may contribute to some degree to stop this epidemic in sooooooo many industries. landt64 you are also right in that your union rep is really the only one on your side. Already I can sense management (although still supportive) starting to want to wash their hands of this as it will reflect badly on their ‘Duty of Care’ under OH&S and how they in turn may be perceived by their managers as not doing their job, leaving the top of the Chain of command with egg on his/her face if this gets out to the wrong people.
End of the day, it’s not about bullying. It’s about money/the budget. In any government job you’re expendable (and from the kind people who have shared their experiences) probably worse in the private sector.
Anyway I’ll keep people updated and will share what’s come out of it by the end of the week.
Kind regards,
Gatsby.
(And again all, many thanks!)[size=2]Gatsby,
Don’t forget the old army saying – Adapt, improvise and overcome!
If all else fails, and you feel your on your way out anyway, go out with guns a blazin’ and bring in the reinforcements (sorry for the wide wqest analagy, must have dreamt of being a cowboy last night??). by reinforcements I actually mean everyones favourite TV shows, Today Tonight or A Current Affair.
They love an underdog story, especially where an employee is being riden over rough shod by management.
IMHO a fantastic last great act of defiance.
Good Luck,
Gary
Go Hard or Go Home! [/size=2]Kind regards,
Gary
Mashari Pty Ltd
‘Anything is possible’Dear landt64, Phil, Rogermoore, emcdonald, wanna be rich, Rob, et al,
Thanks for your support and concern re: work place bullying. Yesterday we had the meeting.
In short it went completely pear shaped. The only thing I won out of it was being able to stay composed. I walked into the room which was the size of a toilet cubicle with a table the size of an ashtray! The bombshell though was when I saw that my boss chose my ‘ex girlfriend’ as her union rep!!! I could have cancelled the meeting, however I thought ‘No, this is just an extension of more bullying from my boss on a psychological level’ so I just let the meeting go ahead. I was also if anything too prepared. I was given 10 minutes to support my claim of bullying against my boss for issues I had documented over the past 2/3 years!!!!!. Then we broke for smoko. Then they had 10 minutes to refute my accusations, then we would break again. Then I had ten minutes to show more evidence, break again for a breather and then THEY (my boss and her union rep/ex girlfriend!) came back with a proposed resolution with managemant!!!!! Last week management were telling me she was going to be moved. When I saw them in the meeting they were nervous/joking and sugar coating the whole issue. I didn’t expect management to be on my side anyway but it ended with ‘So how can we help you Adrian with a resolution to help you go back to work??’ My boss and her union rep came back in the final 10 minutes with an apology for my boss’ poor communication skills!!!! The best analogy I can give was that it was akin to a boxing match and in 10 rounds I knocked my boss out 3 times but she won on points!! I was pretty flat yesterday but today I just feel a sense of relief that the whole build up is over and I must give credit to my ex girlfriend for maintaing a level of professionalism. Also, at least it’s on my boss’ record now but as someone said ‘the whistle blower always loses out’. I just feel sorry (not in a detrimental way) for the staff who work there and will now have to deal with a raging bull. Oh, and at the close of the meeting we all had to agree that whatever was said in the meeting cannot be mentioned to any staff, etc once the meeting ended. So it’s like I’ve got a gag order now, yet my boss’ sister (who is out on bullying) is an employee and do they really believe that my boss won’t be talking about me to her?
Anyway I just wanted to air it off my chest so sorry for the long winded follow up. I’ve taken the week off and I’m still to see my union rep (who was great by the way) to come back to management with how we felt the issue of bullying was never tackled and dismised every time I brought the issue up.
Cheers,
Gatsby!Oh gatsby,
a small “win”… At least the issue has been documented that you had a problem etc, so if it comes up again, it’s already there.Just remember, the sun will always rise tomorrow.
Steph.
Success is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.
Hi Gatsby,
can I just say it’s not good enough!
From now on you need to write everything down that she does or says. If she even looks at you the wrong way, write it down.
If she sneezes and it lands on you, get it written down-because you can bet your bottom dollar she’s out to get you.
You’re enemy number one.
I say we go back to the original plan and get in the Scottish mafia.
By the way I’ve just been to Howl at the Moon on Warrigal Road tonight. I know you don’t live too far away. It’s lots and lots of fun, especially if you like 80’s and 90’s music.
I also wanted to say that there’s a house on my street up for sale. I think it’s far too expensive, but it’s in a good area and might be worth something in 5 years time. If anyone’s interested PM me and I’ll give you the details.
LandtHi,
I need to amend that, it’s a three bedroon ‘art deco apartment’ (yeah right)
LandtGats…
there is a thing called “constructive dismissal”. I suggest you look it up on google- australian site. Constructive dismissal is a term used – it’s pretty much unfair dismissal- for when you felt it was untenable to stay at the workplace.The remdies for a proven case of constructive dismissal are 26 weeks pay, I recall. It is highly unlikely that reinstatement would be forced upon you in the case of constructive dismissal (unless you wanted to continue with your job- which of course would be an entitlement of yours).
You’ll be right with Slater and Gordon- they are good guys who do a lot of pro-bono work.
You might also be able to go to the ADB if you feel that you are being unfairly treated due to other issues related to your situation. Your workplace probably ought be putting “reasonable adjustment” processes into place to assist you anyway. Unless you have had formal warnings or other disciplinary action against you (not just a foul-mouthed boss bitching at you), then any external issue cannot be used as evidence of unsatisfactory performance.
Happy to discuss any of these things with you if you wish, Gats
kay henry
Dear Kay,
Thanks for your reply and as always, many thanks also for your resourceful wealth of knowledge. I will look up what you have recommended.
Kind regards,
Gatsby!
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