Forums / Property Investing / General Property / Negative feedback from family & friends?!?!?!

Viewing 20 posts - 21 through 40 (of 41 total)
  • Profile photo of Ali GAli G
    Participant
    @ali_g
    Join Date: 2004
    Post Count: 99
    Originally posted by AndyW:

    I’m not suggesting abandoning people who aren’t going to encourage you, just saying that you should steer clear of topics where you would feel let down by a lack of encouragement with those people.

    Andy, you have epitomised my feelings in that one short sentence. My family DO want me to succeed but yes I certainly felt let down by their lack of encouragement. That was what prompted my initial post in this thread I guess – it is a very isolating feeling when the people who know you best tell you that you are doing the wrong thing.

    As for friends… well the vast majority of my friends are on a totally different wavelength, and just like Sis said, we have general mate talk or just chat about our studies, families, shopping (!!) etc. Great friends nonetheless but no one who is focused on investing of any sort…

    I might just have to increase my daily fix of chatter with other forumites!!

    Cheers,

    Ali G

    Profile photo of elika7264elika7264
    Member
    @elika7264
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 160

    Hi Ali G,
    The point has been made in an earlier post that you should confine discussion of your investment plans to likeminded individuals. Those who haven’t invested (or don’t have the courage) will be the first to put a downer on your plans.[angry2]

    All I can say is GO FOR IT.[biggrin] Be your own person and do what is right for you.

    In relation to another point you made:

    As for the fact that I “should concentrate on my study” – has anyone else been in this same or similar position? I realise that by studying as well as attempting to get started as an investor that yes, I am biting off a huge chunk, but it has got to be possible, right? Any similar stories would be appreciated…

    I am at the moment trying to complete a PhD and do find that I am spending way too much time on property. However, property is also an outlet and as you know the saying “all work and no play makes jack a dull boy”. So enjoy your property journey — just make sure that you don’t deviate too much from your studies.

    Wishing you all the best. You know what you want — just follow that path.[biggrin][biggrin][biggrin]

    Regards,
    Helen

    Profile photo of gatsbygatsby
    Member
    @gatsby
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 708

    Hi Ali G,
    You’re accomplishing more in your life than all of your critics combined! Congratulations. As to Sis’ post you may want to check Kiyosaki’s book ‘If You Want To Be Rich And Happy Don’t Go To School’. Keep studying though and keep investing. Then you’ll have the best of both educations. Ignore the good/bad intended critics. They all have their opinions and like arseholes, everybody’s got one.
    Keep it Real,
    Cheers,
    Gatsby!

    Profile photo of wilandelwilandel
    Member
    @wilandel
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 761

    Hi Ali,

    All I can add is, if you haven’t already, go and read Steve’s 2nd book…

    It tells the up’s and down’s of a bunch of ordinary people from ordinary lives who went out and DID it!

    Follow your dreams, and believe in yourself…
    Don’t listen to anyone who is negative. Don’t talk too much about property to your friends if they don’t understand… Find yourself a mentor, or a particular person who will keep you accountable to your goals. This is the difference between success and SUCCESS!

    Good luck,

    Del [biggrin]

    Passionate about NZ +ve cashflow property!!! We can source property for you for a fee. Send me your email address to join our database to receive great NZ property deals!!

    Profile photo of Ali GAli G
    Participant
    @ali_g
    Join Date: 2004
    Post Count: 99
    Originally posted by elika7264:

    I am at the moment trying to complete a PhD and do find that I am spending way too much time on property. However, property is also an outlet and as you know the saying “all work and no play makes jack a dull boy”. So enjoy your property journey — just make sure that you don’t deviate too much from your studies.

    Thanks Helen – a PhD is certainly a huge undertaking. I must admit that PI research is definitely a distraction. Perhaps I should use it as a reward whenever I hand in another piece of work…?

    As to Sis’ post you may want to check Kiyosaki’s book ‘If You Want To Be Rich And Happy Don’t Go To School’.

    Read it Gatsby! And yes, I am wading through 8 years straight of school… Didn’t love my previous degree but it served a purpose. Glad to say I am passionate about my current degree though so at least that is a great reason to show up on campus each day! What so many people don’t understand is just because I am passionate about my studies it doesn’t mean I can’t fit anything else in…!! [blink]

    Find yourself a mentor, or a particular person who will keep you accountable to your goals. This is the difference between success and SUCCESS!

    If there are any successful investors out there who would enjoy being a mentor to me, please PM me! I am pretty busy anyway so won’t hound you with questions but it would be great to have someone there to provide a bit of back up now and then. Highly motivated people, apply within!!! [biggrin] Oops, I mean, please PM me. [cheesy]

    Thanks again everyone for your input. It honestly makes a BIG difference, probably not only to me but also to others in the same situation.

    You are all CHAMPS!! [biggrin]

    Cheers,

    Ali G

    Profile photo of Freedom_2Freedom_2
    Member
    @freedom_2
    Join Date: 2002
    Post Count: 23

    I have the same problem,They are scared of you failing,be paitent because when you do make it unfotunatlety you need family to share your success.

    Profile photo of alwayscuriousalwayscurious
    Participant
    @alwayscurious
    Join Date: 2004
    Post Count: 80

    I watched an interview with “Crazy John” ilhan – the mobile phone guy. Basically he grew up in a tough scenario and his attitude is if someone says “you can’t do that” He says “Pardon?” What did you just say? And a dangerous look crosses his face….

    Red flag to a bull!! Then he goes and does it. :)

    I like that attitude. Too often I’ve been told the same thing – you’ll never be able to get a job in today’s market – they’re laying everyone off, “we’ll be next”, you’ll never afford that dream home,
    Bollocks. Bollocks Bollocks Bollocks.

    And more Bollocks! I used to take it to heart and think, heck they’re right!

    Now I just smile and say “watch me”

    I just finished reading ’12 ordinary millionaires’ it’s a great inspirational read.

    Get started and become a finisher mate! Focus you’re eyes on the goal.

    You may have to leave some people behind to get there.

    Go hard.
    Cheers
    alwayscurious.

    Profile photo of gatsbygatsby
    Member
    @gatsby
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 708

    Also I like the saying ‘No just means you haven’t asked the right question.’ I find it quite true and practical in the job I do. Ali G, I think you are doing a great job mate. The fact you are studying and investing means you ARE there! You are living your dream. Once you pass the finish line ribbon also won’t mean you’ll stop. Like all passionate athlete’s you’ll always want to run.
    Keep it real!
    Cheers,
    Gatsby!
    PS. If there are any ‘unsuccessful’ mentors out there and would like to mentor me, feel free to pm me!

    Profile photo of wealth4life.comwealth4life.com
    Member
    @wealth4life.com
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 1,258

    Hi Ali, here i go short and sweet.

    Over the years after doing many seminars etc and talking to pesimists family/friends alike i now ask one simple question.

    HOW MUCH ARE YOU WORTH – and then i say, shit its no wonder you have an attitude to attracting wealth like that – NOT !!!!!!!!

    [thumbsupanim]

    Profile photo of Ali GAli G
    Participant
    @ali_g
    Join Date: 2004
    Post Count: 99

    Ha ha ha – yes, true, but you know they ARE my FAMILY residentialwealth and I am not about to get TOO cheeky… afterall, where am I going to go for home cooked dinners now and then?? [biggrin] Point taken though, absolutely.

    I like your saying too Gatsby. I also like the one that is posted under your member information. Too true.

    Alwayscurious, I think I saw that interview too. He was great, wasn’t he? And despite his success he still came across as being quite down to earth (I thought). Ditto also to what you said about people who just say “no” to everything. I always think in my head “why not? How can I?” and there is always a way! Meanwhile, everyone around me just thinks I am being rash again…

    And Freedom – spot on – I guess I want my loved ones’ approval because one day I want to be able to share it with them also. My Dad always jokes that I am getting an education so I can fund his retirement, but honestly, I would like to be able to. This is all part of the grand plan!

    Thanks again everyone – what a great bunch you are.

    Cheers,

    Ali G

    Profile photo of elveselves
    Member
    @elves
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 507

    Well I dont listen to what my family as such say, cause they know I will do what I want anyway, my mother has resgined herself to the fact that I wont stop and she wishes…

    My siblings have just found out and my daughter will learn as she goes.

    Shrug it off, there is too much to explain and why justify yourself? do you need to?

    Cheers

    ” a blind man may see what a sighted man may not”

    Profile photo of trisha007trisha007
    Member
    @trisha007
    Join Date: 2004
    Post Count: 85

    Hi Ali,

    I know exactly where youre coming from, everytime I talk about investing on a grand scale my parent get all wild eyed and say “dont get yourself into debt!” they come from the school where all debt is bad, they think the only way to wealth is to win tattslotto!

    I also have the problem of not enough time, I work three jobs and although I have one investment property, its currently negatively geared so I need to work hard to pay it off!

    I agree that you need someone to mentor you as family can really make you doubt yourself,
    as for friends and workmates they get a glazed look in their eyes when I talk of investing!

    Sorry i cant give you any tips, all I can say is keep a positive attitude and know youre not alone on this one.

    [biggrin]Trisha

    Profile photo of wealth4life.comwealth4life.com
    Member
    @wealth4life.com
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 1,258

    Don’t worry AliG you are always welcome at my place if you like Italian cookin !! and a few bottles of my father in laws home made wine – not .. he he

    Profile photo of Ali GAli G
    Participant
    @ali_g
    Join Date: 2004
    Post Count: 99

    Residentialwealth – how good are you at gnocchi napolitana? That is my favourite… mmm… But I, er, don’t drink home made wine… [biggrin]
    A friend of mine makes it too and he gets his wife to squash the grapes in a great big tub in their kitchen… BARE FOOT!! Anyone for gorgonzola shiraz cabernet?? [puke]

    Cheers,

    Ali G

    Profile photo of pelicanpelican
    Member
    @pelican
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 454

    ALI G,

    Unfortunately it is exactly our family & friends who stop us from achieving our investment aims…..

    These people, sad to say, in general are not as well informed as you / and us have become….. and they are the ones giving you investment advice ???? [blink]

    Many of us here, have started our journeys “alone” and found kindred spirits here, and, through investor meetups…. Best to keep your family & friends out of the picture till you have made a bit of $$$….

    Then they will be coming to you for advice !!! [biggrin]

    You are making the journey !! GREAT !!! GO FOR IT…… !!! We will be here to support you !!!

    [cap]

    Profile photo of NaughtyJonnyNaughtyJonny
    Member
    @naughtyjonny
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 33

    I would be inclined to take note of each negative comment they throw at you and then find the positive counter argument associated with it.

    For example:

    Argument: “Don’t get yourself into debt”
    Counter: Not all debt is bad. Without some debt (good debt) you’ll never make money.

    Argument: “9 out of 10 businesses fail”
    Counter: That means 1 out 10 does. If you start 10 businesses, then it’s likely that you’ll hit upon one that does very well.

    Argument: “You don’t know how to do this.”
    Counter: Learn how.

    Argument: “There is too much risk”
    Counter: Find a way to reduce the risk. Do your due dilegence.

    When you feel like it’s not going to work, just remember this quote from the Simpsons: “Kids, you’ve tried your best, and you’ve failed miserably. The lesson is: never try.” :)

    Cause that’s the mentality that keeps people from achieving their best.

    Profile photo of landburn15972landburn15972
    Member
    @landburn15972
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 9

    G’day Ali, bah the negative nag sayers, the you’ll never do its and the be careful clydes.
    Congratulations for commencing what will no doubt be the journey of your life. I was once told by a businessman look at the position of the person giving the advice then make up your own mind. In all due respect too those close to us but I’II be blunt. Most people live there entire existance is a place called Fearville. They are unhappy at there jobs(slave factories) and when someone looks too better themselves it hits a button deep inside their own person that says that perosn is progressng. And negative nag sayers hate progression. Most have been sold the line get a go too university get a good job and settle down with a Mortgaage. Bah what absolute untruths.

    I have gone to university and have a degree. What you are doing in persuing the world of property is great! Go for it!

    I have one final suggestion to all those close to you read a book called The Roaring 2000’s- H.Dent. It predicts the next Depression. You dont want to have a job around the years 2010-2016. As a person who has been retrenched 3 times I commend you for your wisedom and hindsight to better yourself.

    Go get em

    Gerry[biggrin]

    Profile photo of JoDJoD
    Member
    @jod
    Join Date: 2004
    Post Count: 7

    Thanks Ali G, for starting this topic! [biggrin]

    It’s been great to read that everyone else also experiences the ‘you’re mad!’ attitude.

    Never being much of a conformist I’ve heard ‘you’re mad!’ a lot, but it is still disheartening to hear ‘you’re mad!’ when I am actually being serious about something!

    I am slowly managing to block out the ‘you’re mad!’ comments and hope to have my first IP soon!

    Cheers,
    JoD

    Profile photo of MattyPMattyP
    Member
    @mattyp
    Join Date: 2004
    Post Count: 5

    Wow – Ali G – you sure have gotten everyone rallying behind you on this!!! All good in my books.

    There is one thing I did want to add to the huge amount of good suggestions on this post, and that is to find those family/friends who have negative comments but are willing to listen to your side. These people are much more valuable to you than those who either tell you “Go for it!” or “You’re Nuts!!” without looking at the details.

    I have a couple of friends who I regularly use to play “Devils Advocate” on all my business/investment ideas. It is very easy to get caught up in a deal you are very passionate about (as I have) but having someone giving you the worst possible scenario helps you to minimise risk. If it wasn’t for people like that I would have around 5 properties by now, but only 2 would have been doing well – the other 3 would have lost me a heap of money.

    Funnily enough, becuase of their (negative) input I now only own the 2 properties which are doing well!

    Good luck with all your endeavours.

    Matt P

    Profile photo of CalderCalder
    Participant
    @calder
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 44

    Hi Ali G

    It’s always hard when you want to share so much with your family and it seems to be a depressing never ending battle when they tell you you can’t do it. My family are wonderful, but I can’t talk to them about it because it always comes back to: I am too greedy (why do you need more than your own home, etc), could lose everything, should have started 30 years ago as I am now too old now, and it goes on.
    You know it is because they care, they want you to do well, don’t want to see you lose, but it doesn’t seem like it very much sometimes, does it. Ask yourself what you really have to lose by investing? If you can sleep at night with the worst case senario, go for it. The support on these forums is great. It’s encouraging for someone just reading the posts for others. Good luck and believe in yourself. There are lots of mentors on this site.

Viewing 20 posts - 21 through 40 (of 41 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.