I think I am finally on here to do nothing but vent!! [blink] [angry2][angry2][angry2]
What is with the negativity that you get from family and friends? There are so many people who are saying “no you shouldn’t” or “no you can’t” when it comes to going ahead with investing in property. When these people are those that are closest to you it is frustrating to no end. I notice so many people on this website making comments to this effect, so I guess my very basic question is… what is with that???
It does not seem to make any difference how many times I explain the logic, my planned approach, that yes other people are actually doing it with success etc etc etc. It just falls on deaf ears! I am a full time student in a very intense course (which I am passionate about), work four jobs and generally lead a very hectic life. Whenever I talk about investing the only response I get is “you ought to focus on the main event – study – and when you finish you can buy as many properties as you like”. To me, this is just stupid!!! Why waste the next three years WAITING to get started? Waiting for what?
And then I start to question myself… am I being foolish? Is my focus in the wrong area? Why am I the only one that thinks this is a good idea??
But then I still think it is a good idea… hang on, I KNOW that wise investing is a great idea.
So what does everyone else do to counter the constant bombardment of negativity from doomsayers? What has everyone else experienced? And how has it all panned out for you in this respect?
Also, how has property investing impacted on other aspects of your life? Should you have postponed investing to concentrate on other priorities?
Would be interested to hear your stories…
Excuse the great big whine I just had!! Argh! I just had to get it off my chest… and now I feel better. [biggrin]
Ali GrichmondParticipant@richmondJoin Date: 2003Post Count: 831Originally posted by Ali G:
I still think it is a good idea… hang on, I KNOW that wise investing is a great idea.
For that reason alone stick with it… don’t listen to the doomsayers. Just keep your plans to yourself and keep plugging away. If you ask a lot of people here they’ll tell you that they wished they’d started earlier. Investing is one of the smartest things you could do at your age… just don’t forget to have a life as well, at the end of the day it’s only a means to an end.
Thanks for the advice Richmond. Perhaps that was what I wanted to hear?? Is there anyone on here who would tell me otherwise?
As for being at “my age”, well, I’ve got a few years on the rest of them around campus and wish that “my age” felt young…. ha! Maybe it is and I just won’t realise until I have doubled it!! [biggrin]
Thanks again – keep the responses coming… [happy]
Ali GScotty BMember@scotty-bJoin Date: 2004Post Count: 44
Write down your plans and goals and stick them somewhere you’ll look at them regularly (I have mine near my pc). It helps me focus when things seem to be getting a little harder.
I live in Karratha and for a fee find quality cash positive deals there, email me at [email protected] to join our databaseSonjaMember@sonjaJoin Date: 2004Post Count: 338
I am very blessed in one sense. Over her lifetime my mother has come up with countless ways to make her million (and in hindsight probably more than that). When she was younger she let her parents talk her out of these ideas. Later it was my conservative father who put the wet blanket on them. Although she never did get to follow through on any of her ideas, she still believs that it can be done if you think differently to the rest of the crowd and are willing to follow a different path.
When I bounce my ideas off her she tells me that one of these days I’ll make it work and never look back.
On the other hand there is the rest of the family and friends who ask questions ranging from “do you think that is wise?” to “why don’t you just settle for living within your means?” so I know only too well where you are comming from. Personally I have dealt with it this way… When they offer their discouragement and criticisim I just think to myself “do I want to be you?” (the answer has always been “no” so far) and then I resist the temptation to waste my time, energy and breath justifying my ideas to them. Either that or I just keep my mouth shut and my ideas to myself to begin with (problem here is my husband’s enthusiastic need to talk).
Lucky for so many of us there are forums like this where there is abundant support from “strangers”.
To quote something someone here once wrote “keep the chin up even if the neck is dirty”.
SonjaDDMember@ddJoin Date: 2004Post Count: 508
Ali, the family and friends are only voicing their inbuilt fears and doubts, and a big glob of jealousy comes into play as well. Isnt it amazing though they will all say “werent you lucky” when you become wealthy, as if your decision to actually do something had nothing to do with the outcome.
They are living the lives we all could have had if we were unable to make decisions, take chances, see the big picture and smile occasionally at the great potential we all have.
Go for it Ali G, and maybe tell noone in your immediate family/friends circle until you have had your investments a year or so and have good cap gains on the board to shrug off the neigh sayers and grumble bums who moan because they themselves cannot see beyond this weeks paypacket for a boss they dont like anyway.
Don’t sweat the small stuff,and it’s all small stuff!!DDMember@ddJoin Date: 2004Post Count: 508
Sorry, forgot to add that one of my close friends kept calling me a slumlord and that I was building “an evil empire”. Funny thing was, after we had 1.6mil in property under the belt he looked more closely and lent me $170k for three months to get me through a delay in financing my next big deal. So no more evil empire, and yes I have helped him get into investing as well now.
Hehe, let them jibber and jibe at you, smile and agree, then do the exact opposite to what they say and you will most likely be rich beyond your dreams.
Don’t sweat the small stuff,and it’s all small stuff!!collector jParticipant@collector-jJoin Date: 2004Post Count: 41
This has to me a million times over,I’ve learnt not to talk about it anymore.
Just go about and do your own thing at your own pace, learn as much as you can then act upon it.
Get as much advice from the forum, your accountant, solicitor whomever.
I was once at a seminar and funniest remark I’ve ever heard was: When ever someone tries to talk you down on a subject or has a negative approach to the subject at hand.STOP THEM LOOK THEM IN THE EYES AND START SCREAMING “BAD SEED BAD SEED” AND RUN AWAY!
He was basically saying, anyone you come in contact with and doesnt agree with you or has a negative feel on what your saying DONT GIVE THEM THE TIME OF DAY and walk away.
Try and spend time with people who have the same interest’s as you do and the one’s that dont, WEll I’ll leave that up to you.
When it comes to investing in property, shares whatever,seek advice where you know there arent any “BAD SEEDS”.
Hope this has helped.
prime real estate agents
property management specialists E: [email protected]maximusMember@maximusJoin Date: 2003Post Count: 189
Hi there Ali G. Family and friends probably mean well but ask them the position they are in WITHOUT investing and then ask yourself if you want to be in their position, that is (probably) with nothing to show for years of hard work. I initially had the same problem but had to change my mindset before starting on the investment journey. My advice is to talk to like-minded people (as yourself) and do your best to ignore the negative people (bit hard when it is immediate family). Be positive and take action. Best of luck.
MartyMortgage HunterParticipant@mortgage-hunterJoin Date: 2003Post Count: 3,781
I agree with Maximus. Just take advice from people who are where you want to end up.
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Comments may not be relevant to individual circumstances. If you intend making any investment, financial or taxation decision you should consult a professional adviser.KDTMember@kdtJoin Date: 2004Post Count: 30
Yo Ali G…listen up
people who tell you it cant be done are the ones who cant do it themselves, so they thing that every else shouldn’t have the opportunity.
I have just been through this myself, not with property investing but something else….bottom line myself and my mate stuck to our guns and “made the grade” albeit just, but we made it……….
here endeth the lesson…..
give it heaps and hang on !!!
PhilGramyreMember@gramyreJoin Date: 2004Post Count: 110
MY guy and I were talking about this just last night at dinner before the visit of his parents today who do renos. Despite their experience in the real estate game we have chosen not to tell them of our chosen path because they are tradionalists who have already in casual conversation given us enough of an impression not to let their negative views poison our efforts.
Mind you I have had a lot of negative attitude and experiences over my lifetime to make me more determined to succeed to prove others wrong.
When all else fails I remember my tagline [biggrin]
I know I can, I know I canDerekMember@derekJoin Date: 2004Post Count: 3,544
Agreeing with other comments – a lot of the negativity arises because of a lack of knowledge on the part of those giving the well intentioned advice. They do not understand the ‘complexities’ of successful property investment and tend to come back to their known point – which is don’t.
The other things that comes into play at the moment is your desire for confirmation from others around you. At this stage you are still a ‘want to be’ property investor and do not yet have the runs on the board so some of the negative comments may well strike a cord within your subconscious.
This is relatively easy to overcome and you are well on the way – by logging on here, asking questions, seeking input from those that are doing it and by providing advice to others will act as a good networking opportunity for yourself. Depdning upon where you live there may actually be people meeting face to face in your local area who could provide an even more powerful support netwrok for you as you embark on your own journey.
Just remember – you can do it!
Property Investment Support Available. Ongoing and never stopping. PM welcome.PurpleKissParticipant@purplekissJoin Date: 2003Post Count: 580
Negatively is probably thier own fear and they will probably be the first to say ‘I told you so” if you fail. And if you succeed, it’ll be luck, it’ll be comments like, “Oh aren’t y you lucky that you bought at the right time” or “Aren’t you lucky that interest rates were favourable for you” etc etc. Gosh, it couldn’t be thorugh you willing to work hard and being willing to take the risk, even if it’s a minimal risk because you did the due diligence first.
Ah, yes, I’ve heard it too. I believe that most people that “make it” have been able follow through with their plan despite the opposition to it.
PKMiniMogulParticipant@minimogulJoin Date: 2002Post Count: 1,414
Hi AliG, I can TOTALLY relate!!!
I had a lot of negativity from family and friends and people I wanted to run my idea past. Ah! where do I start? I wanted to buy Waiheke Island, which was CF+ve for 100k house and land. I didn’t, because an Auckland wanker friend of mine (I say that in love!) told me it was a terrible idea. Well, it went up 127 percent in a year and that’s just the MEDIAN price.
Just looked on the net and the cheapest property with a house on it is 295K. Under that, you just get a building site.!!!
So my family and friends and my unsureness cost me 200k. HMM.
So I found another place, where I was looking at 58K rents for 130 p/w. Seaside town 1 hour from a major city. friends and family told me about the gang problems, and put me off – even though I KNEW the gangs were gone, there was a new supermarket there etc and I’d been there and spent time and they hadn’t – I again let myself be put off. what is that worth now? 90, 100k.
So bummed and depressed I let another six months slip by until I thought ‘bugger the lot of you’ and bought three houses for 80k for the lot! in a place (again, like a broken record) people said I was nuts. I got them cheap because I was one of the first ‘outside’ the town to invest there and they were extremely +ve CF anyway and then the wave of people behind me made them go up in value heaps to boot.
Then all the people who had dissed what I wanted to do said they wished they’d done it too and I was ‘lucky’ I bought there then.
I grit my teeth and smile. They have NO idea what we go through, do they!!
But we are showing them that if you do what everyone does you’ll end up with what everyone has got and if you do what Steve McKnight does then you’ll end up with something a little different…heheh!!
Also lesson learned from that time: Trust myself!
My research, number crunching, and vibes were dead on! Back myself! And don’t take advice from poor people and people who don’t know and don’t invest!!!
joy to the worldScullyMember@scullyJoin Date: 2003Post Count: 48
Hi Ali G,
As you can see from the previous responses, many people have gone through the same thing. We generally don’t talk about our investing to many people at all, just our parents really. Even though they would never consider doing anything like we are, they are very supportive and want us to do well.
Unfortunately, this doesn’t extend to some other family members and friends.
My only Uncle does not speak to us, literally because we’ve only ever have good news. He lost a lot of money years ago, and can’t bear the thought of anyone else being successful. It is a shame. We haven’t had any contact with him since the middle of last year, so he’s never met my baby and obviously doesn’t want to.
Money can and will drive some people apart, so we just get on with things and go about our business.
WOW – what a show of support and a huge response so quickly!!
Thank you everyone for your ideas and encouragement. You are all so spot on. I guess my problem is that I WANT to be able to discuss this with my partner and family but no one is willing to either do this logically or do it for any decent length at all! And I love them all so much so it really eats at me that this has become such a ‘no go zone’ as I hang on to the idealistic notion that you should ALWAYS be able to discuss what matters most with those that matter most.
As for the fact that I “should concentrate on my study” – has anyone else been in this same or similar position? I realise that by studying as well as attempting to get started as an investor that yes, I am biting off a huge chunk, but it has got to be possible, right? Any similar stories would be appreciated… be it with a hectic job, large family, whatever. Any tips on how you managed your priorities and managed to fit everything into one day?
Scotty B, I have my plans written down and this certainly helps. Sonja, your post really struck a chord with me – and yes I will certainly continue to spend a lot of time on here with like-minded (much appreciated!) others.
DD, I am so tempted not to tell anyone what I am doing now but I feel that I could not, and would not want to keep something such as this from my partner. He believes in all of this but keeps thinking “we can’t yet, we’re not in a position yet”. For any of you who went to Steve’s seminar last Wednesday in Melbourne he fits perfectly into Steve’s example of a person who wants everything lined up perfectly in front of them before they are ready. And we all know that this never happens – you just have to jump in regardless! But I love him to bits, and would also love him to be a part of this.
I could keep replying to all of the little things that all of you have said because it all resonated with me so much and makes SO MUCH SENSE. Thank you thank you thank you! Keep it coming!!!
Ali G (feeling a little less frustrated [biggrin])Still in SchoolMember@still-in-schoolJoin Date: 2003Post Count: 1,844
Hi Ali G,
Robert Kiyosaki has some good books on investingg Psychology and Personal Development.
In his books he explains, why he has different set of friends, but also why some people are into investing and others are completely not interested.
Listening to his cd’s and reading his books, gives you plenty of motivation and drive… but puts you into a focus position… and his books, CD’s really do drive you forward.
but sorta back to your question again, in ways i can relate, i sorta have 2 different kinds of friends, ones that have been mates and friends with for many years… (general mate talk and very little investig talk… you know your buddies you go to pub and coast with)
while my other friends… (all investing, money talk… *a talk that drives you but motives you and gives you a real vibe…. – like you want to tell everyone your idea and go crazy with it, you want to start up project and implement plans… the whole works)
but then i’ve found, when you do get yourself into a position as an investor… you then have to be able to focus and split your personalalities (you have to be 2 different people at the same time.)
and those 2 different personalities, i find are, one that if investing is brought up in a conversation, you can talk general in it, but not say exactly into a specified detail (as we do, similar to this forum board.) or you will lose your new friends, or people you met. (or similarly when things are going well for you, dont tell your mate when, he car bobs down in the middle of the road, or his spent his pay check before his got it.)
the other personality, becareful of people who are jealous of investors (they might no be investors, or could be), but your not liked because your capitalist, you may have made some very good property transaction deals,
but these people, are the most decitful, they want to see you go down, they want you to come out with them, spend your money, tell them every exact detail on your current and future moves… (they want to savatage and steal your ideas.)
these people are your fake friends, but they make it look so good, and you trust them too much… (this is where you have to be able to split your personality with them, but not get too excited about talking about investing to them or even not at all.)
im not sure if this helps, but i hope it does, and to be honest, i experienced a lot of negative in the begin, now its totally different… but also, i dont have much of a personal life now, (usually when going out)
i find there someone always asking for money, theres the freeloader… (when going and meeting up at the local pub, or just going out), mates gf, brings her friend along… it a semi blind date…
… my message, im trying to bring across… Choose your friends carefully, and work out, who you can trust and who you can not.
sisAndyWParticipant@andywJoin Date: 2004Post Count: 9
Mr Allistair Graheme,
There are two kinds of doomsayers; rational ones who want the best for you and don’t want to see you get burnt (and will say things like “is it a good price”, “do you really think it’s a good buy” etc, and will eventually come up with “as long as you’ve done your research…) and ones who either don’t want you to succeed, most often because they don’t want to feel left out themselves, or for some irrational hatred of rich people.
I don’t bring up the topic with people generally, because:
1. I don’t want to get a negative reaction
2. I don’t want to be seen to be showing off, or trying to make myself feel superior to others
While few of my friends are seriously into investing (be it real estate, business or whatever), some have been really supportive with my first purchase (settlement in a few weeks, yay!) and my business. I guess I’m selective with whom I open up to, depending on whether I think they’ll be encouraging (and encouraged/inspired themselves) or not. I think that’s the key.
Remember that whether you like it or not, people’s attitudes and behaviours will rub off on you, no man is an island and all those other cliches. So make sure you restrict interactions with people so that they’ll be positive experiences. I’m not suggesting abandoning people who aren’t going to encourage you, just saying that you should steer clear of topics where you would feel let down by a lack of encouragement with those people.
Kind of long-winded, but I think you get the idea.DerekMember@derekJoin Date: 2004Post Count: 3,544
Just got back from a morning tea with other property investors (including a few with million + equity and others with half million + equity portfolios) and it reinforced the value in having a group of people with similar investment goals and beliefs.
Of particular interest was a couple of people just starting out and who had started to ‘listen’ to their well meaning friends and relations (not investors) who had their batteries recharged over coffee and now understand, first hand, the value of like minded souls.
Property Investment Support Available. Ongoing and never stopping. PM welcome.