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  • Profile photo of kay henrykay henry
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    @kay-henry
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    Hey folks,

    I wrote a post last night referring to a documentary on SBS called “Fat Girls and their Feeders” and saying how interesting the program was. I see today that it’s disappeared. Does anyone know why it got disappeared? Just interested to know for the sake of editorial policy, transparency etc :)

    kay henry

    Profile photo of MonopolyMonopoly
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    Welcome to the forum Kay!!! [biggrin]

    No, I didn’t see your post, and can’t say why it was deleted, however as with most of us here at some time or other, a post/thread has been (not just edited, but) completed deleted without notification. Perhaps it was perceived as discriminatory in some way; or someone took offense??? [blink]

    Maybe, as is often suggested to us all, you should approach admin (other mods); one of them may have the answers your seek.

    Cheers,

    Jo

    Profile photo of kay henrykay henry
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    Jo, thanks for your welcome to the Forum- I hope it’s nice in here :+P

    Yeah, well I hope someone who actually *watched* the program found it offensive, as opposed to someonew who didn’t like seeing the word “fat”. The program was in no way discriminatory to big women- anyone who knows me, would know my perspectives on that. It was actually a program on men who fed their women upo so much, that they almost died- these men are called “feeders”.

    It was such an interesting program, and it came on again- I’ve seen it before, that I thought I’d let people know it was on. It was on at SBS at 10pm- hardly a controversial time slot :)

    I am sure the Mod who removed it will tell me why they did so. I am interested in what was found offensive and why.

    Thanks Jo :)

    kay henry

    Profile photo of MonopolyMonopoly
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    No problem Kay, most people are pretty cool in here, except for one ex-mod, I hear she’s a real bit** [wacko] so keep your eye out for her….real pill of a woman I believe!!! [tongue]

    Seriously, sounds like an interesting doco, so if you hear when it is on next, I’d be grateful if you’d alert me to it as I wouldn’t mind seeing it for myself. I work with a lot (please note space) [winking] of women who are victims of domestic violence, and although feeding them may not be deemed violent, if the feeders are doing so as a form of torture or to repress their self esteem it is still regarded as abuse. [glum2]

    Hope the guilty mod owns up!!! Personally I think it is not just good practice, but good manners to explain any edit/deletion of posts/threads and authors should be notified accordingly of same….It just makes for a more amicable environment all round me thinks. [whistle]

    Cheers,

    Jo

    Profile photo of baloobaloo
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    Thanks for the heads up Kay. I managed to see the thread before it was deleted. What an eye opener……

    Profile photo of kay henrykay henry
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    Thanks, Baloo. I guess it’s over and done with now :o) The doco was indeed interesting. Noone has fessed up about why they removed the topic, so I’m gonna leave it.

    Dear Mods, if I wrote something sexist, racist, homophobic, then I would expect it to be removed. If I yelled at a Forum member, or name-called, or lost my temper, then yes, I expect to be edited. But seeing I did none of the above, and merely drew people’s attention to one of the most fascinating programs I have seen, then how’s about next time you let me know what’s happening in your mind to find such a post offensive :)

    Yours in solidarity :+P

    kay henry

    Profile photo of SonjaSonja
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    I actually saw that documentary (or one similar) quite some time ago. The one I saw was based on case studies of this situation in the USA. It was truly sad. One poor woman was so large that she was trapped in her room and they had to get her to hospital via a hole in the wall (or somehow breaking down part of the house – can’t exactly remember now). She was so huge she couldn’t even walk and had to be carried out on some sort of modified stretcher.

    Another was trying to loose weight to save her life and her “feeder” kept tempting her with cakes and fried foods whenever she felt a bit down. Of course the poor lady could’t resist and was failing with the weight loss program.

    I hope this is not crossing some sort of forum line here but… They even stated that these women were so large that the men who were feeding them were physically unable to have sex with them – the genital area was simply unaccessable because of the womens’ size.

    The whole thing is beyond my comprehension. All but one of the ladies that were interviewed were miserable with many aspects of being so large yet the majority seemed disempowered to take action or leave thier feeding partners. I agree with you Jo, it is similar in many ways to situations of domestic violence where the woman justifies the abuse and creates excuses to put up with it, stay with and even forgive their abusive partner.

    Very sad IMO and when these women die of obesity related diseases I’d like to see the ‘feeders’ held responsible.

    On the other hand, an in-law of mine also watched it (not with us – just happened to discuss it afterwards) but just saw the whole thing as a freak show. Perhaps that is what the moderator was trying to avoid?

    Off my soap-box now.

    Cheers
    Sonja

    PS The tone of the documentary that I saw was not at all derogatory to the women involved. It was respectful and if anything sympathetic to their plight.

    Profile photo of kay henrykay henry
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    Thanks Sonja :) This was not some freak show. I would never do a heads up about a Springer episode- too easy. It was a doco on SBS- not so much about the big women, but about the dynamic of the relationship between her and the “feeder”. People might have found it titillating, perhaps, but that is probably their own immaturity. Glad some people got to watch it.

    kay henry

    Profile photo of MonopolyMonopoly
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    Well not meaning to be “picky”; oh what the heck…yes I am!!!

    I feel that it could have been very worthwhile to leave the post where it was, after all, as long as no discriminatory boundaries were crossed, no offensive language used, or any direct insult made or even implied….it should have remained!!!

    After all, there are two current threads ATM which IMO are just as irrelevant to property investing (if you wish to take that stance in favour of the thread’s removal) that have equally no bearing or place in this forum, especially as they are relate to religion (Jehovah’s Witnesses and Gothic practices)….and they are still there!!!

    Frankly, the balance of what does and does not remain in the public arena for public viewing is biased, and no wonder people are opting to go to Somersoft!!! If mods can’t give reasons for deleting/editing threads/posts, then for the sake of common courtesy LEAVE THEM BE!!!

    Cheers,

    Jo

    Profile photo of SonjaSonja
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    Or try the post with a link to pictures of near-naked (naked?) women… how does that compare to this? How does it relate to this site? It doesn’t worry me enough to complain to admin but it seems a bit inconsistent.

    Guess it just comes down to each moderator’s personal opinion and/or if any moderator has seen it at all…

    For what it’s worth IMO the original post should have stayed.

    Cheers
    Sonja

    Profile photo of MonopolyMonopoly
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    Hi Sonja,

    The offending post has been deleted. Most of the mods do their best to make sure that no post/thread remains if it contains subject matter which could upset forum members, however I know that sometimes things do accidently slip by; they are after all, human too!! They aren’t mind readers, and if forum members find something distasteful, it need to be brought to their attention.

    Cheers,

    Jo

    Profile photo of SonjaSonja
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    Just a final word… I may have came across as being too harsh on the moderators who, I agree with Jo, do an excellent job and help make PI.com a place I keep comming back to. Thanks to all moderators who take the time and make the effort :)

    Cheers
    Sonja

    Profile photo of MonopolyMonopoly
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    Well Sonja, if it counts for anything, you have my VOTE as the next PI.com moderator!!!!

    VOTE 1
    [drummer] Sonja for moderator [drummer]

    Steve, take note!!!

    Profile photo of FibejebeFibejebe
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    Hi Kay,
    I didn’t see the documentary, but there has been a lot of research in the past about “obese wives – insecure husbands”. It appears these husbands feed their partners and keep them obese in fear that should they be slender they will run off with another man. Unfortuantely I worked with a woman where this was exactly what happened. She lost an amazing amount of weight, (bravo to her!!) gained back her self esteem and self confidence, (double bravo) and found herself a new man who loved her just the way she was (Triple bravo!!) without the need to overfeed her.

    Profile photo of ScreminScremin
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    [blink]
    I saw the doco when living in UK about a year and a half ago. THose men are seriously sick puppies.

    But I s’pose it could be considered a medical condition or an obsessive compulsive disorder. I just feel a little sorry for the women who are with men like that. They end up having no option as the man has mentally abused her to the point she feels obligated to eat.

    YEs.. a rather sad look at some peoples reality. As much as it can be frowned upon, we need those docos to keep informed about situations like that as they are real and out there.

    Steph.[crying]

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