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  • Profile photo of ScreminScremin
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    @scremin
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 448

    I’m back again…. Yep still bored as anything and have finished watching a movie and hubby has even come home, but with terrible hayfever so he hasn’t even opened his present!!![grrr]

    I have a really funny but gross story I could tell about a little kid I nannied in England but I dunno if you lot could handle it… Ummm…Its of the toilet nature.

    Just checking to see if you wanna hear a real cracker.
    Let me know.
    Steph.[whistle][weird]

    Success is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.

    Profile photo of RugbyfanRugbyfan
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    @rugbyfan
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 683

    Why the hell not – you obviously want to tell it!

    ‘Eat rich food, barbeque a yuppie’ [greedy]

    Profile photo of ScreminScremin
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    @scremin
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 448

    Ok…[baaa]
    well it all started last August during the English school holidays. (Remember summer is in August for them…) Well actually it started in July but who cares!

    I was nannying two little boys in South London for a fairly wealthy family. Put it this way, I was given £100 a week to spend on these kids and no questions were ever asked where the money went.(Ahem ahem…my pocket…)[ohno2]

    The eldest litle boy was six and when I first arrived I noticed one of them had rather bad toilet habits. Ummm…diarreoh all over the toilet.

    To cut a long story short, I worked out htis kid was lactose intolerant and I put him on a no dairy food diet. Instantly he was feeling better and…. dum da da dahhh! He had his first solid turd![medieval]

    It was so funny when he came out of the toilet with the most shocked face I have EVER seen! He came up to me and said…” I just did a solid poo and guess what?! It was harder than your arm!!!”

    (I cocked my eyebrow…)”Excuse me? harder than my arm? What do you mean?”

    He replies squezzing the table,”It’s even hrder than this table…”

    “Henry, you didn’t touch it did you???”

    “Yup! It was sooooo hard!!”

    I tell you what I nearly wet myself with laughter. When cremin picked me up he nearly crashed the car in fits of laughter…

    BUT IT GETS BETTER!!!![lmao]

    I left Henry in the bath while I quickly dressed the younger one. When I returned, I found him with his fingers clearly stuck up his bum!
    “Henry, what are you doing?”
    “Feeling where my poo comes from.” He said this with a curious look on his face.

    Again, Cremin nearly crashed the car on the way home when I told him. I tell you what, it has to be the funniest story about a kid I have experienced… And I’m around kids all the time.

    Sorry if it was a little crude for some but I had to share…[ohno][satan]

    Anyone else wanna share a gross story?

    Steph… [oneeyed]

    Success is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.

    Profile photo of geogeo
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    @geo
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 1,194

    Hahaha[jerry]…hilarious….[thumbsup2] – are all wealthy English kids like that – I love your stories Steph – ur a cracker…please keepim coming – what made you leave that job since it was exceptionally good money.[thumbsupanim].

    What a hilararious strory – I want to forward it to all my buddies…they’ll die of laughter

    “If You never never ask, you’ll never never know”

    Profile photo of ScreminScremin
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    @scremin
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 448

    that family were a barrel of laughs a minute…NOT!!!

    I was paid a pitiful £300 a week. AND DONT GO CONVERTING IT COZ ITS EXPENSIVE TO LIVE OVER THERE!!!

    I tell you, the job did have its perks from time to time. I got to go to legoland and castles and take the kids to the grandparents place which was this old old old stone house, funnily enough called “Stone House”…. The house had been in the family for over 500 years!! Howzat! Have a look at http://www.stonehouse.co.uk I think. Some cool pics.

    Otherwise, it was just funny to see how I would cope with two little ‘uns as I am of the child bearing age….I don’t think I did too badly. One’s now permanently brain damaged and the other has a constant tic where he yells out obscene words… yeah, I think I did alright….

    Success is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.

    Profile photo of geogeo
    Member
    @geo
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 1,194

    hhhmmm…brain damage – you sure did alright. Has hubby opened the gift yet- and the cold – with a flu like that – doesn’t seem you’ll be going out for dinner anymore – oh well you can always have a candlelit dinner at home with a few asprins…hehehe

    “If You never never ask, you’ll never never know”

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