All Topics / Forum Frolic / Universal truths

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  • Profile photo of ShusharShushar
    Member
    @shushar
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 190

    This is a list of universal truths described by Peter Kay, the English comedian. Most people can relate to nearly all of these truths.
    1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
    2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
    3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronized with a complete stranger.
    4) Everyone who grew up in the 80’s has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator
    5) Reading when you’re drunk is horrible.
    6) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
    7) You’re never quite sure whether it’s against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
    8) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
    9) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
    10) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
    11) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
    12) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
    13) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
    14) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
    15) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.
    16) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
    17) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
    18) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
    19) Old women with mobile phones look wrong
    20) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
    21) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
    22) You never ever run out of salt.
    23) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
    24) You can’t respect a man who carries a dog.
    25) There’s no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you’ve got your hand or head stuck in something.
    26) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
    27) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned electrical plug.
    28) People who don’t drive slam car doors too hard
    29) You’ve turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
    30) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
    31) Bricks are horrible to carry.
    32) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
    33) Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

    Profile photo of geogeo
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    @geo
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 1,194

    Love the last one…no. 33

    “If You never never ask, you’ll never never know”

    Profile photo of TzakiTzaki
    Member
    @tzaki
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 36
    Originally posted by Shushar:
    [
    26) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

    Nu-Uh Garfield knows this one! Scene one Garfield and empty cubboard. Scene 2 Garfield trows 2 coathangers into cupboard, closes door. Scene 3 Garfield opens cuboard to reveal… a cupboard full of coathangers!!

    Yep they BREED!

    Steve Kerr

    Opportunity knocks softly, listen carefully!

    Profile photo of geogeo
    Member
    @geo
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 1,194

    I am gullable guy Steve – I’ll believe you that Garfield first identified the origins of coat hangers…does he also know the origins of brain recovery…or was that Homer Simpson..DOH!

    “If You never never ask, you’ll never never know”

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