Things you’d love to say out loud at work.
1. I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of it.2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
7. I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a word you’re saying.
10. Ahhh…I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again…
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don’t give a hoot.
14. I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.
21. It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your cry baby whiny opinion would be…?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what’s behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, & disorder-my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.
39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
40. Oh I get it… like humour… but different.
Regards,
Arty.[
]
“Why work to the age where you cant enjoy
what you have worked for !.” (Author: Me)Yes, YES, YES!!!
Love itBronwen
If the good die young then I will live forever
If a barber makes a mistake, it is a new style….
If a driver makes a mistake, it is an accident…
If a doctor makes a mistake, it is an operation…
If an engineer makes a mistake, it is a new venture…
If parents make a mistake, it is a new generation…
If a politician makes a mistake, it is a new law…
If a scientist makes a mistake, it is a new invention…
If a tailor makes a mistake, it is a new fashion…
If a teacher makes a mistake, it is a new theory…
If Your Boss makes a mistake, it is your mistake[
]
PropertyGuRuVery good Arty,
Did you think those up all by yourself?
Not with your IQ [][]
Sorry couldn’t help that one, it appears you’re about the only one I beat in the IQ test…or maybe the only one that would admit to it []
While I’m at it, where’s that wife of yours?
Becomes a moderator and then goes AWOL?
Hold on, now I remember, she’s buried under boxes somewhere preparing for the big move…good luck with that.
Cheers,
Sue []“Be careful not to step on the flowers when you’re reaching for the stars”
]
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