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  • Profile photo of PropertyGuruPropertyGuru
    Member
    @propertyguru
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 1,501

    If U Think U r fluent in speaking English … Try this without a
    stutter!

    Mr. See and Mr. Soar were old friends. See owned a saw and Soar owned a seesaw. Now See’s saw sawed Soar’s seesaw before Soar saw See, which made Soar sore. Had Soar seen See’s saw before See saw Soar’s seesaw, then See’s saw would not have sawed Soar’s seesaw. But See saw Soar and Soar’s seesaw before Soar saw See’s saw, so See’s saw sawed Soar’s seesaw. It was a shame to let See see Soar so sore just because See’s saw sawed
    Soar’s seesaw.

    [:D][:D][:D]

    Profile photo of PropertyGuruPropertyGuru
    Member
    @propertyguru
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 1,501

    There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush.By imitating the action of brushing one’s teeth, he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.
    Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?

    Think about it first before scrolling down for the answer.
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    He just has to open his mouth and ask, so simple.

    If u got this wrong…pls go dig a hole and hide.[;)][;)]

    Profile photo of melbearmelbear
    Member
    @melbear
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 2,429

    Very good Poltergeist. I have shovel in hand, and am commencing digging!

    Cheers
    Mel

    Profile photo of AdministratorAdministrator
    Keymaster
    @piadmin
    Join Date: 2013
    Post Count: 3,225

    I cheated…….I scrolled. Ill just stand in the corner for a while…..

    Profile photo of PropertyGuruPropertyGuru
    Member
    @propertyguru
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    Post Count: 1,501

    Another one..

    (Definitions: “westie” – someone living in the poorer areas of western
    Sydney, usually, loudmouthed and ignorant, & keep their homes looking like
    junkyards. “centrelink” – social welfare office).

    A single westie mum goes to centrelink to register for child benefits. “How
    many children?” asks the centrelink officer.

    “10”, she answers.

    “10!” says the centrelink officer. “What are their names?”

    “Craig, Craig, Craig, Craig, Craig, Craig, Craig, Craig, Craig & Craig”

    “Doesn’t that get confusing?” he asks.

    “Naah…” says the westie chick “its great because if they are out playing
    in the street I just have to shout ” CRAAIG, YER DINNERS READY” or CRAAIG
    GO TO BED NOW” and they all do it…”

    “What if you want to speak to one individually?”, says the perturbed
    Centrelink officer.

    “That’s easy,” says the westie mum ………” I just use their surnames”.

    [:)]

    Profile photo of ArtyArty
    Participant
    @arty
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 884

    haha [:D][:D][:D][:D]

    heres me thinking, the actions he could do… [:D][:D][:D]

    Regards,
    Arty.

    [:)]
    “Why work to the age where you cant enjoy
    what you have worked for !.” (Author: Me)

    Profile photo of PropertyGuruPropertyGuru
    Member
    @propertyguru
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    Post Count: 1,501
    Profile photo of muppetmuppet
    Member
    @muppet
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 900

    Hi Poltergeist

    Gee you get some very interesting junk mail. Mine keep trying to enlarge my whatsit. And when I can find it they want to sell me some viagra.

    However today I had one that told me I had a virus – [email protected] When I found the cure for it, that told me that I didn’t have it anyway.

    So Poltergeist old friend keep them interesting emails coming. I put them in my school’s newsletter for the parents to read.

    Regards

    Profile photo of PropertyGuruPropertyGuru
    Member
    @propertyguru
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    • Q: Why do Farts stink?
    A: So that Deaf people can enjoy them too.

    • Q: Why do men pass gas more than women do?
    A: Because women would not shut up long enough to build up pressure.

    [:D]

    Profile photo of PropertyGuruPropertyGuru
    Member
    @propertyguru
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    Post Count: 1,501

    Muppet and Arty…..

    • Muppet was amazed to find Arty playing chess with his dog. Muppet watched the game in astonishment for a while.
    “I can hardly believe my eyes!” Muppet exclaimed. “That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen.”
    “Nah, he’s not so smart,” Arty replied. “I’ve beaten him three games out of five”.

    [:D][:D]

    Profile photo of ArtyArty
    Participant
    @arty
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 884

    The way I play chess, the dog would win more than that !.. LOL [}:)][}:)][:D]

    I have problems beating Pinky.. she was taught the proper way by her dad. Now I have no hope LOL [:D]

    Regards,
    Arty.

    [:)]
    “Why work to the age where you cant enjoy
    what you have worked for !.” (Author: Me)

    Profile photo of PropertyGuruPropertyGuru
    Member
    @propertyguru
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    Post Count: 1,501

    At age 4, success is . . . Not peeing your pants
    At 12, success is . . . Having friends.
    At 20, success is . . . Having sex.
    At 35, success is . . . Making money
    At 60, success is . . . Having sex.
    At 70, success is . . . Having friends.
    At 80, success is . . . Not peeing your pants.

    [:D][:D]

    Profile photo of PropertyGuruPropertyGuru
    Member
    @propertyguru
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 1,501

    Another Arty and muppet…

    Muppet is in a hospital bed completly wrapped up in a body cast. Arty gave him a rectal thermometer and said, “Don’t move- I’ll be right back”
    When Arty returned the thermometer was in his mouth.
    Arty asked in amazement, “How did you get that in your mouth, you can’t even move?”
    “I hiccupped”.[:D][:D]

    Profile photo of ArtyArty
    Participant
    @arty
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 884

    ….NURSE!!!….NURSE!!!….and more lube !!!![:O][:O][:O][:O][:(!]

    Regards,
    Arty.

    [:)]
    “Why work to the age where you cant enjoy
    what you have worked for !.” (Author: Me)

    Profile photo of PropertyGuruPropertyGuru
    Member
    @propertyguru
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 1,501

    Another Arty and muppet…

    Muppet and Arty are walking home after a night on the piss. They’ve got no money to get a taxi and are staggering all over the place when they find themselves outside the bus depot.
    Muppet has a brainwave and says to Arty, “Get in there and steal a bus so we can drive home and I’ll stay out here and look out for the police”.
    Arty breaks into the garage and is gone for twenty minutes while Muppet is wondering what the hell he’s doing.
    Eventually Muppet sticks his head around the door and sees Arty running from bus to bus and looking very worried.
    “What the hell are you doing, get a move on!”
    To which Arty replies, “I can’t find a number 25B anywhere”.
    Whereupon Muppet, holding his hands to his head in disbelief, shouts, “You idiot, steal a number 27 and we’ll get off at the roundabout and walk the rest of the way!”

    [:)]

    Profile photo of ArtyArty
    Participant
    @arty
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 884

    hahaha…. but if you steal a bus, do you still need to validate the ticket ?

    [:D][:D][:D][:D]

    Regards,
    Arty.

    [:)]
    “Why work to the age where you cant enjoy
    what you have worked for !.” (Author: Me)

    Profile photo of muppetmuppet
    Member
    @muppet
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 900
    Profile photo of PropertyGuruPropertyGuru
    Member
    @propertyguru
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 1,501

    Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?

    [:P]

    Answer will be posted tomorrow! [:D]

    Profile photo of PropertyGuruPropertyGuru
    Member
    @propertyguru
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 1,501

    Osama consults a psychic about the date of his death.
    Psychic: You will die on an American holiday.
    Osama: Which one?
    Psychic: Anyday you die shall be an American holiday.

    [:)]

    Profile photo of ArtyArty
    Participant
    @arty
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 884

    ..haha… it amazes me, with all the resources that are looking for him, and the satellite scanning, etc… they still cant find him… all the power in the world and they still cant find him.

    [8)]

    Regards,
    Arty.

    [:)]
    “Why work to the age where you cant enjoy
    what you have worked for !.” (Author: Me)

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