… The result was that Julie no longer had to work five days and as such she wanted [to] scale back her hours…
If you’d like to work less and want to discover the way my wife and I achieved financial independence in less then three years, then [book title] is for you. [or: If you want to work less, then read [book title] to discover how my wife and I achieved financial independence in less then three years.]
Well, I’m a natural-born mentor and derive enormous personal satisfaction from helping people, just like you, improve their financial and life position, with a focus on breaking the bonds of 21st century slavery – having to work. [could also mention here about lack of job security in this century and reducing the stress of having to rely on a job for your income when that job might not be there down the track]
It’s good to break up your sentences a bit so that they consist of both long and shorter ones for ease of reading. You’ve brought up some good points, and it is very informative regarding what can be found in your book. Is it a blurb or an introduction? It is like a cross between the two. As a blurb, it would be too long, but it would be great to pick out the highlights for a blurb with a fuller version for the intro? Have you got someone to edit your book? As the author, you are more likely to read what is meant to be there and miss anything you might have left out. Editing services can give a non-biased opinion and won’t be afraid to hurt your feelings like family and friends might. Or, are the publishers providing an editor? Make sure that you get to have a final say in what is printed as they may change a lot in editing and you might not be happy with it. A lot of people also choose books from the title, so that is going to be important to get right. By mentioning the comment about not needing to be an accountant, etc, you’ve implied that the book will be easy to read by the average person. A lot of people find reading difficult when too much information is given to them at once. Why do you think there are so many improve your memory courses out there? There are also a few sentences that are jarring; I’ve only offered concrete suggestions on a few paragraphs. I also hope that you have an indemnifying clause in your book somewhere. Sad as it is now, but it seems like everyone who is teaching anything must do so. Your book sounds great and you have put a lot of information into such a short space, which if it is the start of the opening chapter could be a little daunting to some people. A lot of info thrown at you quickly in an introduction is easier to cope with than in a first chapter. Also mentioning how often you purchase another property might be a little daunting for many people. Possibly change that to something along the lines of purchasing at regular intervals? Figures like that might be too incomprehensible to some. It might be better to work them up to those sorts of figures. Or leave them till you can put them in somewhere while mentioning taking one step at a time to get to that. The way things are worded change the way people react to things. Inflammatory statements for titles are often good. It gets people talking about the book. You’ve also cut it a bit fine with your writing, hope you get it finished in time, as well as polished to a standard that you’re happy with.
Good Luck with this venture, Av.
[email protected]
http://www.petersenpublications.com.auSteve,
Your wife’s story drew me in and made me want to read more. I guess it did the job! I was also interested to see you illustrate the magnitude of your success.
best regards
Martin
Steve, read your intro. What I would like to see from you is less of the selling hype and more of the belief you have in this system.
This is because I do not like to be sold to, I like to make up my own mind, I will do this by reading the writer’s beliefs that are put forward.
I can sell a product because I believe in it, therefore I can relate from my heart the positives of my product.
Hi Steve,
A very honest approach.Very important to let people know that its not all about making money, but rather about deveolping your lifestyle. In Julies case, having a “free day.” Very rare these days, as most would agree.
All of us replying are probably biased about the opinion re your intro into the book, as we know you & have some sort of wrap understanding.
If I was the writer I’d be very interested in getting the opinion of someone who doesn’t know or at least understand what you do as an investor etc, because this is your primary market. To get their attention. (No doubt you’ve already got this angle covered)
Good luck with the book. It will work, Because it always works for those that work it!!!!
See you in MelbourneRegards
KevHi every1.
I am new to this list, so please forgive me if I seem rather crude with my following comments. Steve, I like the intro, but then again who wouldn’t? Isn’t the fact that like myself, people have joined this list because [a] they want to make money or , they are making money but want to know how to make more money smarter? Don’t get me wrong… I am not one for kicking sand into people’s eyes, but the intro seems too “typical” in terms of what other similar introductions to making wealth go. I guess what would be more “assuring” would be to have references and/or quotes to prove your claims. Now I know that sounds too easy to say or to criticise, but put it this way… I’ve read many books about investing and about making wealth… some are great and some are better off becoming movie scripts! Never the less, one book that has always stood out amongst the best of them and I think still does, is Dale Carnegie’s “How to make friends and influence people” (correct the title if I got it wrong). That is a TRUE investors book because the idea is not how to make MONEY, but how to win over the people that can HELP you make money and that is worth more than gold!
Keep up the good workSteve,
Now I am thinking of asking my wife to work just 4 days per week. That only happen when I fully read your up coming book and use it to the best of my ability.
I started investing in property 2.5 years ago but to the ideas of -ve gearing, but realise my serviceability are running out. So I am searching for an alternative and run into your website and found it that the way to go…
Thanks for the info and looking forward to buy your book when release.
Regards
Chandara
[8D]
Steve,
I believe that our success comes from repeating what we know and expanding our mind to the next step of gaining more knowledge. Knowledge is the key to freedom and success is achieved by doing things differently. Your book will not only give knowledge, it will also come with its own key to freedom which is where i want to be.Am i correct in saying you still do not have a title for your book?
If not maybe you should post a competition on site and the winner who gives the best title will receive and signed copy of your book? “doing things differently”. Here’s one of my suggestions: “successful road to freedom”.Yours truly
David Caboz
24 Yrs old and doing things differently.Hi Steve,
Very good introduction and lead into the book. Makes people want to turn the next page and the next. I myself have been down the road of negative gearing and your approach to property investing in terms of +ve cashflow is a refreshing change to get people thinking outside the square.
regards
William[
]Steve
Good intro and would attract most to want to read further and gain financial independence. Maybe you should add a sentence or so that helps to define your target audience…..not just those that have many years of investing to achieve their goals but also those that may be about to retire or whatever you see as the cut-off point for implementing an investment plan.
KeithSteve
I think it is a great intro !
However, I am one who only reads the front and the back of the book and maybe flips through the index at the front, so I will have bought your book by the time I read the intro!
I really liked the extended-weekend storey. I think all Australians can relate to that ! But hey, you don’t have to wait until you get positive cashflow coming in to get an extra day off. I am sacrificing one day of pay at the moment to only work 4 days with the aim to spend that day (plus week nights & weekends) dedicated to getting out of the rat race. I must admit though it is difficult trying to keep the 4 day week going when my boss’s “normal” picture is 5 days !
Good luck and thanks for taking the effort to share your knowledge. I love doing the same, I just need more knowledge to share !!!
Simon [8D]
Hi Steve! Great intro to your new book! I’m new to all this but I’m looking forward to exploring the possibilities. Your intro certainly wets the appetite, just watch the typos and the proof reading. Keep up the good work, can’t wait to read the book![
]Hi steve
Sounds good so far, its refreshing too see that your morals are in the right order!We australians are looking forward too a informative book that is relative to our country and that people can use as a tool towards financial independence.
Robert. T. Kiyosaki did it for America and im sure you can do it for Australia!
ill be buying a copy.
Regards.
ADPS title sugesstion for your book Escaping the Rat Race Aussie Style!
Steve,
I found the intro very catching without going over the top. Having spent some years part time prfessional speaking, a lot of books have been written by a lot of people, therefore I have had the honour to read a lot of these. Your intro is possibly amongst the best I have come across, it raises curiosity, wants the reader to seek more knowledge and will appeal to both the casual and more serious looker. Remember the intro is only designed to make people want to buy. Well donehi Steve
I liked the intro but thought it was a little weak on your wife only being able to cut out one day of work – after all, writing a book like this is saying “I have worked out how to have financial freedom already” NOT “i am still on the road to financial freedom” SO I was really glad to see in your reply that Julie is in fact, not needing to work. I think it would strengthen your credibility to say exactly that – Julie doesn’t really need to work and yet enjoys continuing – she has CHOICES. And that’s what it’s all about. Not everyone wants to stay home and not work, a lot of people get satisfaction from their job. I would definitely emphasise that she could keep the job or not keep the job. Maybe something like this: “In fact, Julie was happy that her boss agreed to cut back her work time… but if the request had cost her the job, it wouldn’t have mattered to us financially. The truth is, Julie doesn’t need to work at all… but she loves her job and gets lots of satisfaction from it. She has the choice – to work or not to work – because of the investment strategies we have put into place.”
Just IMHO. Take it or leave it.
I’ve posted one reply already, then I read the other responses and thought of more to say.
I agree with those who say to concentrate on your successes – and, I would add, the successes of your proteges. After all, people may think you are excessively gifted, intuitive, lucky, whatever – they need to know that you can teach THEM to get financial freedom. I also agree not to use the kind of hype that all the other types of books use. For a title, what about “Turning Negatives into Positives” and then some kind of subtitle, maybe “how you can build financial freedom without dipping into your hip pocket”.
My third bit of advice relates to the editing – I have read several investment type books that are riddled with grammatical and typographical errors and I must say it pulls down the credibility hugely. I once edited a book for a franchise guru, discovering over 1000 mistakes. And he was going to self-publish! Fortunately the book went on to five reprints (last count, I haven’t checked lately) but the great thing about it for him was that my company believed in the books’ content and did the editing on a royalty/commission basis – no outlay for him, but lots of income as it sold. I’m not looking for your editing project, but would suggest that you might be able to get good professional help without forking out heaps.Hi Susiemac,
Thanks for your feedback. I wanted to mention that Jules doesn’t have to work but couldn’t articulate a way to say it that didn’t sound cocky.
If it’s ok then I’d love to use what you wrote.
(Are you also putting your hand up for the proofing job? [
])Thanks to everyone that’s provided feedback to date. It is much appreciated [
].Regards,
Steve McKnight
**********
Remember that success comes from doing things differently.
**********Steve McKnight | PropertyInvesting.com Pty Ltd | CEO
https://www.propertyinvesting.comSuccess comes from doing things differently
Hey Steve,
just wanna let you know I think the books looks very promising and will be an exciting read. GREAT job so far. Can’t wait to read it. Good luck.Steve, it may have been mentioned before but I haven’t finished reading all the reponses.
My opinion is, most people who know about you will almost surely buy your book. So the intro is focused and meant to attract people who haven’t heard about you.
Most people are “weird”, they know the importance of investing and understand the consequences of not doing so, yet they still don’t invest. Your wife story part is very good. It’s most people would dream of, but the “weird” people may need a bit more motivation to start. Like short tips of how to get out of comfort zone and start without yet saving enough capital….
And also people may think that you can do it because you are accountant or whatever, but engineer and medical people may think they can’t do it as they don’t have any business knowledge. Or they may think that they need another commerce degree before they know how to invest, or any reason that put them off…. Though you do mention accountant, economist… is not required, may be you can emphasise it more (like rephrase it, or mention at beginning, or quote it at the front or back cover page…. to get more notice) Just some suggestions.
Hope it helps for my first post.
From FUN
Dear Steve,
sounds like a great introduction. Just 2 suggestions to consider. Although I and many others think it will be a great book you have to consider that this is an investor site and we all know where you are coming from. Many people are conditioned to working as employees, this is what we are taught at university etc, and therefore do not understand the concept of not working. When I tell people that I want to retire by 40 (7 years from now) they always ask, “but what will you do with your time” You may want to address this issue somewhere in the book. The other thing is that people really do not understand investing, even very educated people, one proffessor I know thinks superannuation is the way to go. I also get called a capitalist and greedy because people just dont get it. Others think that investing is too risky and they will lose everything if they listen to you or any other investor. These are the challenges I think you will have in reaching the general public. Good luck and Im looking forward to reading your book.
XeniaHi Steve,
I must say I value your honesty and desire to help me and others do much better financially. I certainly appreciate the support, education and encouragement to pursue my dreams, not to mention your no bull dust approach. I am committed to action and hope to develop the skills (with your help) to be a great property investor who wishes to share the benefits with others.
With regard to your book the key thought that is going through my mind is “What’s different about this book?” I’ve read many books, attended many courses and seminars produced by a number of different people. They have similar thoughts, strategies and outcomes. The key message that needs to come out in my opinion is: This book is exceptional because it is this…….and it isn’t that.
Obviously being an advocate of positive cash flow property investments this is a key point of difference. However most others talk about issues such as living their dreams, their sincerity, their success stories, their credentials, not being a get rich quick scheme, easy to do etc etc. Even Amway and other MLM do this. There is no PoD in talking about aheivement of dreams although we all hope to gain from investing in this manner.
I personally believe in your message. I respond to your sincerity and want to be mentored. Perhaps you can tell us a little more about why this material is going to be different and how reading it will transform our financial situations beyond where we currently sit?
I understand that the reader has to take action in order to really benefit, however most people are procrastinators whose shelves are littered with books, that they have bought with the best of intentions. What can you tell the reader in the introduction that will help them to feel buying this book will be a ‘proactive life changing event’ not just another symbol of their lack of action?
If the content is not going to be that different could you differentiate on format and delivery? Could the book content be structured like a ‘step by step guide (similar to your exceptional Wealth Guardian program) that make the reader, stop, think, act etc before moving on to the next chapter? Using real life examples and cases studies to illustrate a point and get the reader to think how they could handle it and demonstrate that understanding. Perhaps your PoD could be involvement. This book promises to draw the reader in, tell them how, show them how and let them experiment (like paper trading in the share market?) and inspire them (by building their confidence) to get in there and make it happen.
In my view for this book to be really ground breaking your approach needs to focus just as much on the ‘you can do it’ aspects as much as ‘this is how you do it’.
Steve – I look forward to your book as I do your Masters Property Investment event next month. Look forward to meeting up for a chat. I wish you all the best with this endeavour. Thanks for the opportunity to comment. [^]
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