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  • Profile photo of CeliviaCelivia
    Participant
    @celivia
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 886

    I found a couple of funny computer poems. If you have kids, they might know this one by heart.

    A GRANDCHILD’S GUIDE TO USING GRANDPA’S COMPUTER
    by Gene Ziegler © 1994

    Bits Bytes Chips Clocks
    Bits in bytes on chips in box.
    Bytes with bits and chips with clocks.
    Chips in box on ether-docks.

    Chips with bits come. Chips with bytes come.
    Chips with bits and bytes and clocks come.

    Look, sir. Look, sir. read the book, sir.
    Let’s do tricks with bits and bytes, sir.
    Let’s do tricks with chips and clocks, sir.

    First, I’ll make a quick trick bit stack.
    Then I’ll make a quick trick byte stack.
    You can make a quick trick chip stack.
    You can make a quick trick clock stack.

    And here’s a new trick on the scene.
    Bits in bytes for your machine.
    Bytes in words to fill your screen.

    Now we come to ticks and tocks, sir.
    Try to say this by the clock, sir.

    Clocks on chips tick.
    Clocks on chips tock.
    Eight byte bits tick.
    Eight bit bytes tock.
    Clocks on chips with eight bit bytes tick.
    Chips with clocks and eight byte bits tock.

    Here’s an easy game to play.
    Here’s an easy thing to say….

    If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
    and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
    and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort
    then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

    If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
    and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
    and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn’t hash,
    then your situation’s hopeless, and your system’s gunna crash.

    You can’t say this? What a shame, sir!
    We’ll find you another game, sir.

    If the label on the cable on the table at your house
    says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
    but your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
    that’s repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
    and your screen is all distorted by the side-effects of gauss,
    so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
    then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
    cause as sure as I’m a poet, the sucker’s gunna hang!

    When the copy of your floppy’s getting sloppy on the disk,
    and the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risc,
    then you have to flash your memory and you’ll want to RAM your ROM.
    quickly turn off your computer and be sure to tell your mom!
    [computer]

    Celivia

    Profile photo of CeliviaCelivia
    Participant
    @celivia
    Join Date: 2003
    Post Count: 886

    And here’s the 2nd poem:

    Computer Poem
    A computer was something on TV
    From a science fiction show of note
    A window was something you hated to clean
    And ram was the cousin of a goat.

    Meg was the name of my girlfriend
    And gig was a job for the nights
    Now they all mean different things
    And that really mega bytes.

    An application was for employment
    A program was a TV show
    A curser used profanity
    A keyboard was a piano.

    Memory was something you lost with age
    A CD was a bank account
    And if you had a 3-in. floppy
    You hoped nobody found out.

    Compress was something you did to the garbage
    Not something you did to a file
    And if you unzipped anything in public
    You’d be in jail for a while.

    Log on was adding wood to the fire
    Hard drive was a long trip on the road
    A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
    And a backup happened to your commode.

    Cut you did with a pocket knife
    Paste you did with glue
    A web was a spider’s home
    And a virus was the flu.

    I guess I’ll stick to my pad and paper
    And the memory that’s in my head
    I hear nobody’s been killed in a computer crash
    But when it happens they wish they were dead.

    RBS
    [blink]

    Celivia

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